Retard Strength

Sometimes, you wish you had more strength.  Maybe you need to open a fucking jar.  Maybe you need to beat off an attacker.  Maybe you need to lift furniture.  You need Retard Strength.  My technique is simple:  facing your task, let your face muscles get lazy, and say, "retard strength, huuuuUH!"  Bam, the jar is open.

Retard strenght, huuuuUH!
The attacker came, called me a retard for beating him off.

It works!