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this be the verse

Name: philip larkin 2009-03-06 5:15

    they fuck you up, your mum and dad
    they may not mean to, but they do
    they fill you with the faults they had
    and add some extra, just for you

    but they were fucked up in their turn
    by fools in old style hats and coats
    who half the time were soppy-stern
    and half at one another's throats

    man hands on misery to man
    it deepens like a coastal shelf
    get out as early as you can
    and don't have any kids yourself

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 5:22

    I’m moody. I’m bored. I’m obsessed with some guy. Combine all that and I whip out the kung-fu just to get my aggression out. And by kung-fu, I mean striking a pose from the movies I watch and looking really serious and (hopefully) menacing. But I manage to pull off that sinister, “I’m going to kick your ass” look because I’m Asian and thanks to some obscure dude named Bruce Lee, and currently the likes of Jackie Chan and Jet Li, everyone fears us! Even if I know jack shit. Stereotypes, you really have to love them, especially when they work in your favor. Hi-YAH!

    This is a rant, just because I like to write. Even better, it’s fun to get responses, validating how good of a writer I am and how insanely cool I am (read: quirky, weird, a total loon). Sick, just sick, right? Ah well, I’ve accepted it, so suck it, bitches!

    I find it hard to connect with people in the daily hustle and bustle of the city life and people are so isolated with their electronics and their vigilance in avoiding eye contact. What happened to having really good friends, where we can laugh over the dumbest things or do random crazy shit just to pass the time? I’m 23 for heaven’s sake, there’s not much time left for me to act like an idiot. By 25, I kind of want to tone it down a bit and act like a real live grown-up. I’m serious about that, too.

    I love the friends I have now, but they’re busy with their own grown-up lives, and I’d like to expand my circle in general because, sadly, people just come and go and all I have left is a fleeting memory here and there. Sigh, scaring people off…it’s what I apparently do best. All in a day.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 5:25

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Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 5:30

Okay, the long-promised "Nate the Snake" joke.

There's this civil engineer who has a dream of a super-interstate-highway running from Los Angeles to Washington DC. After years of lobbying, he finally is awarded a contract to construct a perfectly-flat, perfectly-straight 16-lanes-each-direction highway from Los Angeles to Washington. So he employs all the best surveyors, to make sure the highway is a perfect straight-line from LA to DC and to make sure it stays perfectly flat. He subcontracts with only the best construction crews and uses only the best materials. He decides the existing tunnel-diggers and mountain removers just aren't up to the job, so he has bigger ones built, ones that can remove a half-mile swath of the Rockies in a week. They start in LA, and a few months later, they're overlooking the greater Washington metropolis.

Just one more hill to remove before they start work on the terminus and the merging into DC's outer belts. It's a small hill, really, but it's got to go. So they call in one of the smaller mountain-removers to remove it, and just as the machine's getting ready to erase the hill, a snake pops up out of the hill and screams "Wait!"

Obviously, this catches everyone by surprise, so they wait. The snake continues, "My name's Nate. Nate the Snake. You can't destroy this hill! You mustn't!"

"Why not?"

"Because there's a lever buried under this hill, and it's attached to a doomsday device. If the lever is tripped, it'll blow up the entire Earth!"

The engineer consults with his team. "What do you think?" "It's a talking snake." "Yeah, but do we believe him? Do we go around the hill, or do we plow it over?" "Do we believe him!? It's a talking snake! Who'd believe us?" In the end, they decide to err on the side of caution and build the highway around the hill. So, when they're finished, they've got a highway running from LA to DC that's perfectly-flat and perfectly-straight, except for this minor detour around a hill.

So they've got the ribbon-cutting ceremony, and as a perq for designing and building the highway, the engineer gets to be the very first person to use it. So he hops into his Lambourghini in LA at dawn and floors the pedal. 30, 40, 50mph. Shifts into 2d gear. 70, 90, 110mph. He keeps accelerating until the car just can's go any faster.

Shortly before sunset, he's approaching DC, and he remembers the hill. So he slows down to around 225mph to negotiate the slight turn. And he sees Nate crossing the road! He can't squish a talking snake! Especially one that kept them from blowing up the Earth. So he swerves to avoid hitting Nate, and plows into the hill at over 200mph. He trips the lever, and the Earth blows up.

The moral of the story...

Better Nate than lever.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 5:40

Just testing.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 8:59

...........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
BRO FIST

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 8:59

...........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
BRO FIST

Name: RedCream 2009-03-06 15:21

>>4
I can't believe you got me to read the entire thing just for one of the lamest possible punchlines, ever.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 17:24

...........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
BRO FIST

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-07 15:33

SCUURMPSRHIOSTE

Name: RedCream 2009-03-07 17:47

FBIRSOT

Name: RedCream 2009-03-07 17:50

FBIRSOT

Name: RedCream 2009-03-07 21:51

WHO AMONG YOU IS FIT TO FIST THE BRO?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-07 23:33

>>4
ha ha oh wow!

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2010-09-14 2:00

>>1
One of my favourite poems.
>>4
I nearly laughed.

Name: Anonymous 2010-09-15 1:03

Whatever happened to rodcram? Guess the guy fizzled out...

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