all my dreams are gone

since I was in high school I've always wanted to get married and have a family. but here I am -- gonna be 30 and still living with mom (she's poor, I m poor and she has health problems) -- can't get a girlfriend at all, on or offline and has the worst luck with women ever! -- not even in the field that i went to school for -- I have an extreme bitterness towards women -- all of my friends have girlfriends or are married and have kids. --my only brother isn't involved in my life -- can't even get laid all of my hopes and dreams are gone..so why live anymore

I was at my friends house last night for new years..my friends were kissing their girlfriends and i was kissing the beer bottle and drinking as much as i could. 5 of my cousins are married and 3 have kids right now.