I fucking HATE masturbating.

You know why? because I always cum at the WRONG FUCKING TIME. Satan tells me to get horny and look at some porn, I do and I can;t fuckin help myself. sometimes I get so caught up in the feeling that I ruin just-laundered underwear and if the day really sucks, i'm not wearing any underwear. and If I take off my pants, i forget to hold up my shirt and it falls down JUST when i'm ejaculating. so I have to wash the fucking cum off and put i in the hamper. or if I am totally naked, I get so excited that i use the blanket and cum inside it. then i need to get a new fucking blanket, and my moms like bitch u just washed it last weekend. or if i'm totally naked with nothing covering me i shoot my cum into my bigass navel and it's a bitch to clean it.

any solutions

stop being so fat

>>1
Grow up?

>>1
Kleenex Ultra, drape 4 on your dong before you jism out

are u that guy from College. the cartman one. i think his character was named carter. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Caldwellhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Caldwellhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Caldwellhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Caldwellhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Caldwellhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Caldwellhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Caldwellhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Caldwellhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Caldwell

DRAPE UR DONG, WRAP UR WANG