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Debisuble: The Bible of Desu!

Name: Yedi 2008-06-05 16:34

In the beginning Desu created the heaven the earth. And the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the loli of Desu moved upon the face of the waters. And Desu said, "Let there be loli"; and loli appeared, light and darkness then followed as a result. And Desu saw the loli, that it was lovely; and Desu separated the Loli from everything else. And Desu called the loli Kawaii, and made them divine and welcomed them to Lohealiven, Desus private paradise realm where everything is Kawaii. And since Desu thought so highly of loli Desu created the earth as a resort for Desus Kawaii lolis.

Meanwhile Desu´s brother, Debeasuar, became envied of Desu since Desu was surrounded by lolis, which he thought were ripe and young. So Debeasuar kidnapped a loli in a form of a little teddy-bear and tried to Becopypaarste Desu's creation, but he failed since the loli bear was decopysurighted by desu. From the failed experiment, a bear mirroring the corrupt soul of Debeasuar, spawned. Debeasuar looked upon his failed creation with disgust, since it wasn't ripe and young, and decided to throw it into the trashcan realm, where all the gods failed creations got banished. When Debeasuar opened the trashcan realm and prepared to throw the failed loli--an accident happened--the failed loli creation got warped by the dirtiness of the trashcan realm and became reborn.The failed loli bear creation received powers of evil and corruption, its mind was even more corrupt than Debeasuar. Debeasuar saw the horrid warping of his failed loli creation, and grinned. Debeasuar grinned since he could have use of this warped creation of his, and decided to become its "father" and bend it for his will. Debeasuar picked up the warped loli bear and said: "From now on you shall be called "Perilous Dominance Bear". I named you Peril Dominance Bear because I will teach you how to avoid perilous situations, hence perilous. I want you to dominate every plane with me, hence Dominance. And Bear since it was your origin." And that is how the Pe-do-Bear, the long time enemy of lolis, was created.

It took Debeasuar an instant to bend the evil Pe-do-bear to his use. With the Pe-do-bears power Debeasuar descended into Lohealiven and let his creation loose to claim the Kawaii lolis and Lohealiven. The Pe-do-bear did as his supposed "father" told him to and begun conquer the Lohealiven and captured every loli he saw and did throw them into cages. When the Pe-do-bear had captured three lolis he was summoned back to Debeasuar and was forced to turn them over to this "father". Thanks to Debeasuar's greed something went amiss! The Pe-do-bear suddenly gained its own consciousness because of the greed his father showed. The consciousness pe-do-bear looked upon Debeasuar and saw the kawaii lolis he held with greedy hands and suddenly went on a Frenzy, since the pe-do-bear thought it was his well deserved catch. In his frenzy he violated and corrupted the 3 lolis, which turned into a pe-do-cat, a pe-do-bear and a pe-do-penguin. He also killed Debeasuar in his frenzy. When the pe-do-bear regained his sanity he saw what he had done, and didn't feel any remorse at all on what he had done. The pe-do-bear decided that the corpse of Debeasuar should be sealed in a special part of the trashcan realm, since he didn't want anyone to defile the body of his "father". In the special part of the trashcan realm Debeasuar was reincarnated and realized his mistakes, and wandered around aimlessly. Feeling pain and misery from his mistakes and sealing Debeasuar changed his name to Emobearsu, and from then he decided he would become the god of Emos.

Desu had by now realized something was amiss in Lohealiven and decided to return to his private realm. There he saw the horror on what has and is happening. He saw that a cat, 2 bears and one penguin acted like pedophiles and corrupted the kawaii loli realm. By all his might Desu summoned his Debattlesuship, the mightiest anti-god defense ship in all of the realms, and scotty-beamed all of the uncorrupted lolis into the ship. In the Debattlesuship Desu summoned the uncorrupted loli to a conference and wanted four brave which should confront those four pe-do-creatures, since if Desu did leave the almighty anti-god ship it would get dispelled. Four lolis stepped forward, they were named: Krozar, Janap, Suzuran and Yedi. Desu granted them four magical trouts which would aid them against the fight against the Pe-do-creatures. Each of the four mighty heroes took one trout each and got scotty-beamed down to the earth. There the four lolis were instantly overwhelmed and killed by the paws of the the two Pe-do-bears, the paw of the Pe-do-cat and the wings of the pe-do-penguin. Their blood soiled the ground and the four magical trouts. The trouts suddenly absorbed one loly body each and got possessed by the four losoliuls and gained a kawaii aura. The Pe-do-creatures noticed that fishes had gained a ripe and fresh aura and suddenly felt hungry, and decided to eat the four magical trouts. They decided to eat one each, since it would be fair. But they didn't know the true nature of the trouts! The four magical trouts wasn't weapons of destruction, they were imbued with the magic of sealing! The pe-do-creatures into the earth and they have been there ever since that day.

Desu dispelled his Debattlesuship and returned the lolis to the earth to live happily ever after, or so they thought. Since the pe-do-creatures corrupted everything they touches the planet itself did get corrupted. Because of the corruptions of the pe-do-creatures some of the loli began to age, some committed sins and some others murdered her kindred. Desu realized that he needed to purefy the earth before they could live here one more, and moved into the Debattlesuship. Before Desu and the lolis immigrated he created a "recycling system" on earth which would take care of the remaining powers of the pe-do-creatures, that is how we humans were created. In the humans life span we will absorb some power of the pe-do-creatures. If we withstand the taint of the pe-do-creatures and don't commit sins our losoliuls will be welcomed with open arms into the Debattlesuship until the taint of the pe-do-creatures, then we will live here on earth once more. But if we commit sins our losoliuls will be banished to the trashcan realm, since it couldn't purify the part of the taint it absorbed.

That was the story on how the earth was created, how the pe-do-creatures got sealed away and how we humans were created.

In the loli - the kawaii and the losoliuls may Desu bless you

/Yedi the priest of the loli four.

Name: Yedi 2008-06-05 16:36

In the loli - the kawaii and the losoliuls may Desu bless you

/Yedi the priest of the loli four.

Name: Anonymous 2008-06-05 18:48

>>1
lulz

Name: Anonymous 2008-06-06 0:52

Will this be on the final?

Name: RedCream 2008-06-06 12:28

The presence of LOLI BATTLE MACHINES indicates the text has a ring of truth to it.  Or something.

Name: Yedi 2008-06-06 13:51

This is the final and this story is true!!!

Name: Anonymous 2008-06-06 15:35

>>5

Dude, I seriously wish you would just stop trying to make "funny" posts. Stick to political shit because when you try to be funny you just give me this "Like me even though I'm a dorky fuckass" kind of vibe.

Name: Anonymous 2008-06-06 15:55

>>5
Yeah, I have to agree with >>6.
You're trying to hard to fit in. You're not really considered part of "The Group" so it's not like we can kick you out, but people would like you better if you would not be yourself.

Name: RedCream 2008-06-06 17:54

>>7
SRSLY?  HAHAOWAOW!

>>8
Well, that just fucking settles it, right?  The two of you have formed the Ultimate Coalition of 4Chan Power (UC4P) and as a result, I'm outgunned and now I have to do what you say or suffer the consequences.

Oh, wait, that's not right.  You're just another chanfag who talks out his asshole because at the root of it all, you're completely powerless and will remain so for all of your vile mistake of a life.

Name: AnOnYmOuS 2U 2008-06-06 19:07

Che.. RedCream again...4shame Red-Chan...

There you go again yiffing about other people talking out there assholes...of course, you have nothing in common with them...right? Of course there's the issue of constant forms of faggotry bullshit that seems to projectile vomit from the three holes in your face. Of course now I see the difference. U say they talk out their assholes, but you talk out your mouth..., but projectile diarrhea still cums spewing out every time..., and here I am again...having to clean up after your sick sad excuse for a pitiful human existence...*pulls out mop and bucket*

Name: Cactaur 2008-06-06 19:31

RedCream is a friend of us Cactii. Thus you all stupid haters better be rolling away before I needle your asses out of /CACTUS/ forever.

Name: Cactaur 2008-06-06 19:32


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Name: Anonymous 2008-06-06 21:06

>>9
See, this is what we're talking about.
We offer a little constructive criticism and you get all hostile and defensive.
A better response from you would have been, "Hey guys, thanks for the advice! I, too, would like to be part of the group. Please continue to offer helpful suggestions about how I can gain the confidence and self-esteem necessary to advance as a person."

Name: RedCream 2008-06-07 0:14

>>13
You fuckwits think these are constructive?:

stop trying to make "funny" posts
"dorky fuckass" kind of vibe
You're not really considered part of "The Group"
people would like you better if you would not be yourself

Eat hot death, shitmouther.  I'm not locked up in here with YOU.  No, you people are locked up in here with ME.

Name: Anonymous 2008-06-07 3:02

>>14
Easy Red, no need to cry we all want the same thing; for you to be happy and part of our little breakfast club

Name: Anonymous 2008-06-07 4:38

>>14
lulz really hit a nerve with those comments huh 'Cream?

Name: Anonymous 2008-06-07 5:07

>>16
lol redcream's fail has been exposed. Never before have his bumbling, needy posts been so well defined.

Name: Anonymous 2008-06-07 7:01

>>14
Eat hot death, shitmouther.
lulz, the fat mans mad. calm down fagcream, sorry but that's the truth, you fail at /lounge/. to us you'll never be more than a fatass nerd trying and failing to be special.

Name: Cactaur 2008-06-07 9:56

>>15,16,17,18

Cut it out.
ಠ_ಠ

Name: MYSTICAL MOUSE 2008-06-07 16:45

>>19
NO U.

Name: Cactus 2008-06-07 19:27

>>20
AAAAAAAGH!

{fires the Mousinator}

Name: AnOnYmOuS 2U 2008-06-08 4:54

ಠ _ ಠ what seems to be the trouble here. Ah, cactus is still providing RedCream with rectal incentives and threatening us with ASCII art needles, ooh...scary. RedCream's constantpainshun and nutsnmouth simple-x III have resulted in his cronic projectile dirrhea spewing out chuncks of corny bullshit right out his mouth that just keeps us ROTFL. Thanks, I needed a good laugh. I find that 4chan.org in the /lounge/, /sci/, and /b/ are notoriously hill-fucking-arious. I really cumming inside 4chan.org. Thanks for the good laughs, I'll be sure and write back soon. Later. XD

Name: RedCream 2008-06-08 9:31

Cactaur, put 1k needles in >>22's ass, please.

Name: Cactaur 2008-06-08 12:08

*inserts 1k needles into >>22 ass*

Name: Cactaur 2008-06-09 20:24

Since of my immense phail at post number 24 I will commit suicide. *points needle gun against his head and fires*

Name: RedCream 2008-06-09 20:52

>>25
Obviously you are a Cactaur cloan, and from your use of "phail" and those silly fucking asterisks, you're also obviously the failpoaster A2U.  MEGAFAIL DETECTED.  LULZCANNON FIRING.

PEW PEW PEW!

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