How do you start talking to random girls?

Dear wise men of /lounge/, please help a fellow anon.

walk up behind them in a restaraunt, pull out your dick while they are sitting and tickle their ear just slightly. When she turns her head and sees cock she'll open her mough in shock, that's when you grab the back of her head and thrust to get a blowjob instead. When the waiter and her friends ask you what the hell your doing simply reply, "What does it look like I'm doing? Punk, Punk, Punk, Punk, Punk! When you finally jizz all over the back of her throat and watching her gag, spray your piss all over her face. When the authorities arrive, explain the whole story, only include the part where she paid for this service. When they cart you away for indecent exposure, pull down your pants and yell, "It aint done till it's over!" Break through window, ejaculate onto the streets, jump up and get running back to the restaraunt beep, beep. Arriving in cuffs and pants around ankle, twist around 180 and grab hold of said ankle. "PILOT TO BOMBADERE, PILOT TO BOMBADERE, BOMBS AWAY!" Firing bomb and bomb and bomb further still though, cum flying at her face with shitty dildo. Sticky and slimy from head to tow, her manager screamed, "WTF, let's GO!" They scramble and stagger as police run in, guns from the holsters, my lady dagger swipes thin. Masters of time and money and thine, swiftly as wind did slaughter the swine. Guilding youth and age used a plenty, confiscated guns, cocked and ready. Triggers were squeezed, lead did fly, for that very day I did cry. Wasted on meth, and crack, and heroine in tune, PCP my friend, LSD'd to the MOON. Death to swine and ignance a like, look down at your chests as I retrieve my spike. Sympole is justass when tied covered in goo, if you refuse my offer, you might end up blue. It's taken awhile, though now I am firm. Open goatse wide, hear cums my sperm.