My co-worker was unreasonable yesterday

So, I was at work yesterday, and I happened to walk by this guy's desk. I noticed on his computer screen that he had his personal E-mails pulled up. I asked him who he thought he was to do this on company time, and then, he told me that his daughter was sick at home, so he was checking up on her.

I then punched his computer screen out, and look him straight in the eye and said, “Who do you think I am? Jerry Lewis? I don’t want to hear your sob story, so get back to work before I get you fired." He said a few cusswords, and then, he tried to punch me.

I blocked it, then , I gave him a swift, round kick to the groin. I asked him if he wanted some more, and he came at me, again, so, I slapped him, and then I hip tossed him into the nearest filing cabinet. I looked over my shoulder at anther worker who was standing near by, and I said.... "File him under G..... for garbage."

Needless to say, I was quite pleased, because now, that means there one less person in the company for people to look at. All eyes should be on me. I'm a stud.

thats so weird man cuz i hate it when people do that, like the other day i walk by managers desk and shes like looking at some crazy shit on youtube and im like wtf is this shit, you got me working extra hard to finish this project and youre over here on youtube. AWWW HELL NAHH. I mean just like lost it right there, and walked out the office to the Company mangers office, and told her what really was going, she was so furious she called my manager in and asked her if it was true, at first she denied it but then she admitted after gave her one of my looks. she was begging and asking to be given one more chance but the company manager wasnt gonna have it. she pulled out the whip, and whipped her hard on  the back, and i was standing there in awe that it was actually happening, then after my manager was bleeding on the floor, the company manager pressed a button on the wall and opened a flaming oven and picked her body up and thew it in it. then the company manager tuened around at me and said Problem Solved, now get back to work. I just walked out man, and I thoght to my self Im never doing shrooms again.

So yesterday at work I was looking through my usual garbage e-mail, you know, spam, porn, funny images (LOLZ) and the asshole at my place of work decided that he was the fucking boss (haha yeah right) and tells me to stop looking at porn so I tell him some shit story about my daughter which he totally believed so as he was walking away I kicked him to the ground and repeatedly punched him in the face until he cried like my imaginary daughter.

Needless to say he walked away sobbing and came in the next day with bruises all over his face and he couldn't even look me in the eye.

He can't even face me because I'm so tough. I'm a stud.

soo last year sum guy at work thought he was it, well he was it as we were playing tag

Master, you have already succeeded, for you are greatest of all momuments to man's beauty. You need not compete with others at your job, for you are now and forever a human masterpiece.