how do you wipe your buttocks...

...after excreting waste?
a) Reaching around and wiping from the front of our body towards the back
b) Reaching from he front and wiping from the back towards the front
c) from left cheek to right cheek(vice versa)
d) Slowly dabbing the buttocks
e) Don't wipe at all.
Which one is proven to be affective?

a)

Imagine you are receiving a BJ and your ball sack smells like SHIT...THAT WOULD BE GROSS!!!!!

How does one shave their asshole hair?  I have never done it.  Wouldn't it itch like a mother fucker?