The Tale of the Unpleasant Pickle

I love pickles. Pickle is also a cute word. Pickle. Hee hee. So, whilst grabbing a drink at a convenience store this weekend, I spied a display of single pickles on the counter. That's right, individual pickles each in their own little plastic package of juice.

I thought they were hilarious, so I bought one for the sake of having a packaged pickle. Then, later on, I began to want to eat the pickle. It did look nice and crunchy and juicy...so finally, I gave in, opened the package, and took a bite.

That pickle was the single worst-tasting thing I've ever encountered. It smelled and tasted a lot like sour vomit with vinegar in it. I couldn't even get that first bite down. I spat it into the sink and tossed the pickle in the garbage, and went to chew several pieces of gum. I checked the package to see if maybe it had been old. Nope - it says it expires this coming August.

About 10 minutes later, the vile thing had started to stink up my entire kitchen. I decided to go pitch it in the bin outside. When I opened the garbage can, I saw that two fruit flies had already appeared out of nowhere and were bopping around on the pickle in some sort of grotesque mating dance. It was horrible.

I still don't know why that pickle tasted so bad. The brand name was Freestone, if anyone here has ever experienced its horrors.

I ate that pickle about 3 years ago, and can still taste it.

This is a good lesson for all you kids who think that individual pickles are cool and you want to do them because all your friends at school are doing them.

Must keep this thread alive. It is important.