Return Styles: Pseud0ch, Terminal, Valhalla, NES, Geocities, Blue Moon. Entire thread

Cactus Storys

Name: Cactaur 2008-02-29 19:36

POST SOME FUCKING CACTUS STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Name: Cactaur 2008-02-29 19:58

1k needles!

Name: RedCream 2008-02-29 20:01

Use your cactile sense and you'll avoid needles.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-29 20:06

This guy bought a cactus.
He watered it just as much as he did his other plants.
That was a fatal mistake. It doesn't need that much water, its a CACTUS.

It rotted and died.

The end.

Name: Cactus 2008-02-29 20:06

Daaaaaaaamn youuuuuuuuuuu!  Damn you for drowning our cactilian brother!

Name: Cactaur 2008-02-29 20:18

>>3
Only other Cactuse can avoid the 1k needles attack!

>>4
That is a sad story.
Post more fun stories!

Name: Cactus 2008-02-29 22:32

>>6
Stop that nonsense, brother, and revert to the original Cactese tongue.

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 0:08

Cactobots transform and roll out!

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 0:10

KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES 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KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 2:24


Vivica Fox Scares Me
Vivica Fox Likes Lip Collagen
Vanessa Ferlito
Trout Pout for Victoria Silverstedt
Traci Bingham Goes Overboard
The Ugliest Britney Ever!
Rick Springfield Destroys His Cupid's Bow
Posh Spice - Big Greasy Lips
Peter Burns Is Still Lip Collagen Addicted
Pamela Anderson
Ouch my lips!
No Clay, plumping your lips does not make you look more masculine
My Lips Look Like An Anus
Melanie Griffith Will Not Stop With The Plastic Surgery
Meg Ryan: Did A Bee Sting Her Lips?
Meg Ryan Aka Trout Lips

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 2:25


Vivica Fox Scares Me
Vivica Fox Likes Lip Collagen
Vanessa Ferlito
Trout Pout for Victoria Silverstedt
Traci Bingham Goes Overboard
The Ugliest Britney Ever!
Rick Springfield Destroys His Cupid's Bow
Posh Spice - Big Greasy Lips
Peter Burns Is Still Lip Collagen Addicted
Pamela Anderson
Ouch my lips!
No Clay, plumping your lips does not make you look more masculine
My Lips Look Like An Anus
Melanie Griffith Will Not Stop With The Plastic Surgery
Meg Ryan: Did A Bee Sting Her Lips?
Meg Ryan Aka Trout Lips

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 2:25


Vivica Fox Scares Me
Vivica Fox Likes Lip Collagen
Vanessa Ferlito
Trout Pout for Victoria Silverstedt
Traci Bingham Goes Overboard
The Ugliest Britney Ever!
Rick Springfield Destroys His Cupid's Bow
Posh Spice - Big Greasy Lips
Peter Burns Is Still Lip Collagen Addicted
Pamela Anderson
Ouch my lips!
No Clay, plumping your lips does not make you look more masculine
My Lips Look Like An Anus
Melanie Griffith Will Not Stop With The Plastic Surgery
Meg Ryan: Did A Bee Sting Her Lips?
Meg Ryan Aka Trout Lips

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 2:25


Vivica Fox Scares Me
Vivica Fox Likes Lip Collagen
Vanessa Ferlito
Trout Pout for Victoria Silverstedt
Traci Bingham Goes Overboard
The Ugliest Britney Ever!
Rick Springfield Destroys His Cupid's Bow
Posh Spice - Big Greasy Lips
Peter Burns Is Still Lip Collagen Addicted
Pamela Anderson
Ouch my lips!
No Clay, plumping your lips does not make you look more masculine
My Lips Look Like An Anus
Melanie Griffith Will Not Stop With The Plastic Surgery
Meg Ryan: Did A Bee Sting Her Lips?
Meg Ryan Aka Trout Lips

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 2:25


Vivica Fox Scares Me
Vivica Fox Likes Lip Collagen
Vanessa Ferlito
Trout Pout for Victoria Silverstedt
Traci Bingham Goes Overboard
The Ugliest Britney Ever!
Rick Springfield Destroys His Cupid's Bow
Posh Spice - Big Greasy Lips
Peter Burns Is Still Lip Collagen Addicted
Pamela Anderson
Ouch my lips!
No Clay, plumping your lips does not make you look more masculine
My Lips Look Like An Anus
Melanie Griffith Will Not Stop With The Plastic Surgery
Meg Ryan: Did A Bee Sting Her Lips?
Meg Ryan Aka Trout Lips

Name: RedCream 2008-03-01 2:52

>>9 through >>14
These are VERY POOR cactus stories.  FAIL.  GREATLY FAIL.

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 3:35

Perhaps "Ouch my lips!" is the title of a grand cactus love story.

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 4:27

DUKES OF HAZZARD COOTER ACTION FIGURE

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 6:58

>>15
Not real RedCream.

Name: Cactaur 2008-03-01 8:18

Cactus stories, NOW!

Name: RedCream 2008-03-01 11:06

>>18
You have issued a FALSE STATEMENT.  Cactaur is soon to commit you to the needles, in addition, for the failure to submit C·A·C·T·U·S S·T·O·R·I·E·S.

Hence:

"Once there was a cactus.  He was unlike all his ilk, in that he was missing his needles.  All the other cactii gave him no end of grief over this, since everyone knows cactii have needles and that needles are always associated with cactii.

But the needleless cactus was as succulent as all the rest, and eventually he was found by a roving desert creature, and to his great dismay, he was consumed, screaming in Cactese (his native tongue).  His life was fairly short, hard going, and then he was eaten.  Woe to him.  There is no moral to this.  Just, woe."

Name: Cactaur 2008-03-01 11:52

>>20

Great story, RedCream.

>>18

You will feel the pain of 1k needles

                /||\
                ||||
                ||||
                |||| /|\   I'M A CACTUS !!!
           /|\  |||| |||    /
           |||  |||| |||   /
           |||  |||| |||  /
           |||  |||| d||
           |||  |||||||/
           ||b._||||~~'
           \||||||||
            `~~~||||
                ||||
                ||||
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~||||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  \/..__..--  . |||| \/  .  ..
\/         \/ \/    \/
        .  \/              \/    .
. \/             .   \/     .
   __...--..__..__       .     \/
\/  .   .    \/     \/    __..--..

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 13:03

>>4 story was better than >>20
>>4 had a moral at least, "Don't over-water cactus"


Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 13:17

>>22

kinda true

Name: RedCream 2008-03-01 18:11

>>22
But my story had no moral.  You're comparing apples to PVC piping.

Name: Overlord Cactus 2008-03-01 19:42

Great stories. More!

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 20:00

>>4 was like an emotional roller coaster. You laughed, you cried, you felt anger and betrayal.

>>20 was ok, I guess...

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-01 21:00

>>24
Well really we are comparing one story to another. Its about as good a comparison as you will find.

Name: Christopher Logan Hanssen 2008-03-01 21:19

Well for some times now I have been looking for beatiful cactus anime (even google will not help me) can you guy please send me some as this is the only place I can find any. I cant send anything back as I am on disability and cant afford decent internet but could you please send it to my email at ChrisLHanssen@hotmail.com
Also a lot of you guys are just here to annoy me and cause insults and harrassments and I dont think that is apporpriate as we are all here to enjoy cactuses and sexy cactus anime. Please stop insulting me and the other cactus fans here or I will be forced to contact the admin here in regards to you're harrasment.

Name: RedCream 2008-03-01 23:15

Arid Noir

The night air had a sting to it, like the wind-driven desert sands had felt against my succulent integument.  I squinted out the open window, past my leftarm needles, blearily trying to gauge the time from the moon's position.  That was a skill I had learned from many lonely hours in my youth, in the open air, my roots sandily ensconced, and my arms upraised to that same moon.

A sudden rapping alerted me.  Someone was knocking on my door.  And from the backlighting from the hallway, I could tell it was a dame.  But from her spiky curves, I could tell it was more than a dame.

It was trouble.

I'm Ned Dulle, Private Eye, cactus.

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-02 0:35

Once upon a time, in a magical world far, far away there lived a beautiful loli named Goldilocks. Long story short she was walking through the forest and came across a cottage in a hidden clearing. She entered the cottage and found three bowls of porridge on the table. She had a look around to see if anyone was home and saw three cactii against the wall, one big one, a medium sized one and a little baby one. "lol cactii don't eat porridge" she thought, and sat down and ate the porridge. Suddenly the father cactus fired 1k needles at Goldilocks completely fucking her right up. "lol u tk him 2da bar|?" said the baby cactus. "Watch your language son, or daddy will have to get out the banhammer and whack you" the mother cactus replied.
"OK mom, lets get this thieving bitch outside and take turns sticking it in her pooper"
"Yes son, it is time I taught you how to raeped people in their pooper before you start going all queer on me" said the daddy cactus. But it was too late. The mother cactus had become scared, and said "you're moving with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air cactus gardens!"
Baby cactus pleaded and begged his mother not to send him away but it was to no avail. The next day I whistled for a cab and when it came near the licenseplate said "cactus" and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say this cab was rare, but I thought "now forget it, yo homes to Bel-Air cactus gardens!"
I pulled up to the garden at around seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby "yo cactus, prick you later" I looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the cactus overlord of Bel-Air gardens!

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-02 1:12

Stories.

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-02 3:38

I found a Thai tale called Cactus No Needle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b7bLE_AQAg

Name: Cactaur 2008-03-02 18:37

Hello, I am Cactaur and I demand a board for my cactillien brethren.

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-02 23:11

In b4 KIKES KIKES KIKES KIKES etc

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-03 14:14

i bought a red cactus. i already had 5 through 6 of alll collected just needed the red one. completed clollection appraised $600 american plus! purchase tanhseu321@hotmail.com pleaes,

with many love,
tanh

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-03 15:29

MOTHERFUCKING CACTUS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING DESERT

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-03 19:27

GO AWAY, PLA!

Name: Cactus 2008-03-03 23:23

It appears there's gonna be a cactussle here.

Name: Anonymous 2008-03-03 23:48

Cactizzle is in da hizzizzle!!!

Name: Cactaur 2008-03-04 12:20

>>39
What?

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