Anyways,
>>1 please listen to me. Because it's really related.
I went to a brothel a while ago; you know, a whorehouse? Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in. Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "$15 off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots. You, don't come to Madame Dragon Lady's just because it's $15 off, fool. It's only $15, 1-5 DOLLARS for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some pussy, huh? How fucking nice. "Alright, daddy's gonna order the two-girl special." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you $15 if you get out of those seats. A brothel should be a bloody place. That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place. Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to pick a girl, and then the bastard beside me goes "A fat girl in a blonde wig." Who in the world orders one with a wig nowadays, you moron? I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat her out with a blonde wig on her head?" I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour. Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "blonde wig"?
Coming from a whorehouse veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, Asian girls. That's right, Asian girls. This is the vet's way of fucking. Asian girls are a bit rare and exotic, so the price is a tad higher. This is the key. And then, she's delicious, especially if she wears a rubber dominatrix getup. This is unbeatable. However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on for being a weeaboo; it's a double-edged sword. I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you,
>>1, should just stick with fapping.