i must have sex in the next 3 months

i must have sex in the next 3 months
in 3 months i am 20 years old and i cannot bear the shame and failure of failing to lose my virginity, so i have decided to hang myself before i turn 20 unles i have sex. i will report back heere every day maybe. then again maybe not.

Ten years ago I somehow managed to go out with this good looking English-Scotch Jew chick. She wasn't jewish religion, though. She was a Wiccan. I didn't know this going into the relationship, either. She said she celebrated Channukah, I assumed she was a kike. Whatever. So, things go fine for a while, la-di-da, She asks me to go to her house, I say sure. I rode my bike into her apartment complex, and nobody's at her house but her. I was young at the time (15) so I didn't think much of it. She gave me a hug, then told me to take my shirt off. Thinking something fun was about to happen, I did so. She threw me onto the couch and said she'd be right back. A few seconds later I blacked out. I woke up and there was a shattered lamp on the ground and I was down to my skivvies, not to mention handcuffed. My arms hurt for some reason, too. Thinking she'd stolen my kidney or something, I was freaking out. I found my kidney was intact. My vision finally unblurred, and she had CARVED SHIT INTO MY ARM. I had a pentagram cut into my left arm, and a snake biting its tail (An Ourobouros to the educated) in my right. I freaked out. She walked out of her bathroom naked and said something along the lines of a ceremony beginning and she kept calling me Azazel. I asked her WHAT THE FUCK went on, and she said that she was a reincarnation of Lilith, and I was Azazel, her demon lover, but I didn't know it. She sat on my chest and started cutting her arm and letting the blood get all over my face and arms.
It was fucking horiffic. She was like "NOW THE TRANSFORMATION WILL BEGIN!" I actually was sporting an erection from seeing my girlfriend on top of me, though I wasn't very happy. She leaned over to kiss me and I bit her in the tit. I ripped off that little bump thing, and I then headbutted her so hard that I couldn't even see. I threw her off me, and she started swinging the fucking knife at me. I cunt punted her, then heel-stomped her in the back of the head. I got the keys, my clothes, and got the FUCK out of there. Since that day I've had fucking wierd nightmares and dreams about demons and shit. The stupid pentegram and ouroboros were cut deep too, so now they're scarred into my arms. Now I'm too mentally scarred to have a significant other. *Sigh*