i must have sex in the next 3 months

i must have sex in the next 3 months
in 3 months i am 20 years old and i cannot bear the shame and failure of failing to lose my virginity, so i have decided to hang myself before i turn 20 unles i have sex. i will report back heere every day maybe. then again maybe not.

My friends and I were bored and decided we wanted to go to the gas station to buy some sodas, so we get there, and as we walk in to the back of the store, we hear this faint, high pitched, "Heellloooo" ..."Helllloooo".. (repeated about 5 times) Until we finally got up to the register. We hand him the cases of soda, and the cashier says "So, where are you guys playing tonight". "Ooh.. umm.. what?" "Well, i thought you guys were in a band? Where are you guys going to play at tonight?" "Oh sorry.. We're not in a band." "Oh... Are you all brothers? You all look so much alike!" "Nope.. well, i'm related to him (point to my brother) But the other guys aren't related" "oh... Hah, well you guys all look very similar". I then pay the man and start walking out and as his farewell he says "All right guys, well hope your show goes well with your band tonight, rock out.... Peace out!.... Smoke out!!.."