Self-castration

For the last few weeks, I've had this burning, stinging sensation in my testicles. Everyday it has gotten worse, and today it is absolutely unbearable. I have decided to castrate myself. So, /lounge/ what is the best way to remove my testicles?

Okay, so I've decided that the best way to castrate myself is to use a kitchen knife. In the next few minutes I'll have one last wank, then I'll say goodbye to my jewels.