drunk masturbation

if i got somehwat drunk and started having sex with a pillow would it feel like a real girl?

no

if i got stoned would i?

>>3
even less

masturbation defeats hangover.

try ecstasy. that might work. maybe. very little chance. but, if you have a low tolerance, maybe.

>>1
You need 4 soft pillows.  Go to the pillow store and test the pillows by hugging them.  If a pillows feels real nice in your arms, then that's the pillow for you.  At home, put the 4 pillows lengthwise, stacking the pillows in 2 pairs.  Get naked and lie on your pillows, the lower pair for your legs and the upper pair for your arms.  You may now thrust into the lower pair while hugging the upper pair.  As you near the time when you'd like to ejaculate, affix 6 tissues such as Kleenex Ultra around your cock, and get back onto your pillows.  For added effect, put clear aloe vera gel on a tissue, warm it up under light bulb, and put that around the head of your cock first.  You may want a small baggie around all that tissue in case the moisture allows your cock to break through all the tissue layers.

>>7

You sound like a pro at masturbation.

>>7
Affix them to my cock how, with rubberbands? or my sister's hair-holders?

>>9
Just layer them, then drape on your cock as if your cock was wearing a ghost costume.  They will stay in place for the most part, but check from time to time.

Now, the Kleenex Ultra is particularly fine because of the extra softness.  Any brand that says it has a built-in lotion effect is fine.

>>9

YES! SISTER'S HAIR HOLDERS! USE THOSE!

just fuck a girl you fucking fuck

drunk masturbation takes too long