I Pissed myself

I was at school today at lunch at the cafeteria. I didn't have anything to eat, but I chugged down 4 cans of Mountain Dew. It was five minutes before we got out, and the teachers block the doors so nobody leaves early. Well, I was in agony. I was standing there squirming around grabbing my crotch begging one of the teachers to let me use the restroom. He would let me, he said I should have went earlier. I started squatting up and down with my hands in my pants and my legs were crossed. Suddenly, it all came flowing out the front of my pants, down my legs, and all over the teacher. I got suspended all next week. My friends and the entire school made fun of me, including the nurse and the principal. My mom actually came really close to disowning me, and my dad is too ashamed to talk to me. Help me 4chan, what should I do?
    
      

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Suspended for what reason? Disowned for what reason?

If anyone should get suspended it should be that teacher right? Also lulz.

becasue if you pissed your pants, it would hit the teacher too.

Epic win my good sir

I think you might have to kill yourself

How did your piss get all over the teacher?

If your story is true, it is ridiculous that you got suspended.  What was the official reason?  Try to appeal your suspension if there is such a system.  Get your parents to speak with the administration because most schools become terrified when parents are involved.  Your parents shouldn't get too upset about the incident if you are telling the truth.  It seems to me like an honest accident and mistake.  

>>8

sue the school.

Next time just go to the bathroom, authority be damned.

Next time just go to the bathroom, authority be damned.

ur a dickhead.

end of story.

option: suicide.

>>8
my school ignores parents. that's why i go to a failing school.

>>1
become an hero. it's your only option after being humiliated. and be sure to kill that teacher that stopped you from using the bathroom.

>>1
Vtech. Its the only way. They laughed at you, humiliated you, on top of that suspended you. If you can't get guns then use knives or any other object that can kill, show them how you feel.

One should never so nonchalantly dismiss suicide as a cure for what ails the OP.

When you cut on yourself enough, you'll die, and then all your pain will be over.  So, cut on yourself ... a LOT.

*ahem* now for the assholery. Next time, don't chug any form of mountain dew without taking a piss between the cans...or at all. Now, I will tell you this now, it was especially stupid of you to not eat anything, but then again, I can't make you eat, cause I rarely eat at school myself.

My sister is a perfect example of this "kids who may be legitimately retarded making it through high school" phenomenon. She's a junior in college and has somehow managed to be on honor roll/dean's list throughout most of her education and even made National Honor Society.

She...
- doesn't understand how negative numbers differ from positive numbers and it boggles her mind that adding a negative to a positive decreases it
- couldn't tell you what 6 x 8 is nor could she figure it out in her head no matter how long you gave her
- has no clue what it means to square or cube a number even though she has somehow passed Geometry and two Algebra classes
- after 7 years of middle school and high school English still can't resist pluralizing words with apostrophes
- always manages to get than/then exactly backwards like 80% of the goddamn population
- thinks when you're writing a paper every second or third sentence should start with "However," but she has no clue what however actually means or when it should be used. She'd seriously write something like "John grew up in New York City. However, his father owned a small shop. John worked at the shop from the age of 16. However, John's mother also worked in the shop. John had many friends in school. However, he also played football."
- doesn't get/can't use paragraphs, she just writes her papers in one long block of text and then randomly chops them into "paragraphs" every 6-7 sentences

I do the last one out of sheer annoyance with typing papers.

heh. paragraphs are supposed to group one or more sentences to form an idea or a point. it normally takes me between 3-6 sentences to convey each point when i write an essay.

heh. paragraphs are supposed to group one or more sentences to form an idea or a point. it normally takes me between 3-6 sentences to convey each point when i write an essay.

>>19,20
I didn't even read your failpost. Double post = fail

go buy a gun