I Pissed myself

I was at school today at lunch at the cafeteria. I didn't have anything to eat, but I chugged down 4 cans of Mountain Dew. It was five minutes before we got out, and the teachers block the doors so nobody leaves early. Well, I was in agony. I was standing there squirming around grabbing my crotch begging one of the teachers to let me use the restroom. He would let me, he said I should have went earlier. I started squatting up and down with my hands in my pants and my legs were crossed. Suddenly, it all came flowing out the front of my pants, down my legs, and all over the teacher. I got suspended all next week. My friends and the entire school made fun of me, including the nurse and the principal. My mom actually came really close to disowning me, and my dad is too ashamed to talk to me. Help me 4chan, what should I do?
    
      

How did your piss get all over the teacher?

If your story is true, it is ridiculous that you got suspended.  What was the official reason?  Try to appeal your suspension if there is such a system.  Get your parents to speak with the administration because most schools become terrified when parents are involved.  Your parents shouldn't get too upset about the incident if you are telling the truth.  It seems to me like an honest accident and mistake.