For almost all of my life I've been the kind of person who, when I've wanted something but it involved what I considered to be a lot of effort, I always said "nevermind, I'll do without". Which is why I'm almost 34 never had a gf and am a virgin. It's also the reason why I have a huge gut, have a job that pays $11/hour because it doesn't require much effort on my part, and spend any time that I'm not working at home playing PS2 or on the internet so I don't have any friends. Even when I did have friends (both of whom were AFC losers just like me) it would annoy them that I would p!ss and moan about not feeling like hanging out and doing anything, preferring to stay at home by myself and you guessed it, play PS2 or go on the internet.
Okay, here's my question in a nutshell: for a person like me who for almost all of his life has been very passive and lazy by nature, and only makes a commitment to something (like a job) when it's literally a matter of survival, WHY set goals and try to achieve them, why try to grow as a person, why try to "do something with your life"? Why NOT just avoid life as much as possible, clinging to the dull old and safe because at least it's familiar, rather than trying to accomplish something that may or may not work out, and definitely will require effort, sacrifice, inconvenience and discomfort? Is there some reason why it's NECESSARY to try to grow, learn, achieve? What's my motivation NOT to just waste my life away?
For some it may be natural as can be: "I do it because that's just who I am, I love challenges" or "I do it just because it feels good to accomplish something". But this is just the way I'm wired, at the present anyway, that avoiding unpleasant circumstances motivates me a lot more than seeking pleasant ones. Call me a loser, I already think that of myself so that's not going to motivate me either.
Name:
Anonymous2007-11-26 14:09
And why is a guy who is 34, never had a gf, makes $11 an hour, and is a virgin automatically considered a loser? Why don't more people ever stop to think "maybe he's just a perfectly normal guy with low self-esteem and self-confidence, and he needs love like everyone else"? And are there NO HB's or at least halfway cute women, who find a very passive, lazy guy attractive? I've heard about women who piss and moan about their bf's being so lazy, not taking out the garbage, not finding a job, etc. But why did they start going with them to begin with?? And why are they staying with them?? I'm about the laziest, most passive, apathetic person you'll ever meet.
I've realized lately that the reason I often get so bitter and angry when I see really hot looking women, wearing next to nothing in the middle of the summer, out clubbing or whatever with their friends, is because I not only don't believe I have anything that would make one of them want me, but I RESENT HAVING to have something that would make them want me. Sometimes when a HB has tried to flirt with me, I've intentionally been rude because I'm like "she's flirting with me because of what she THINKS I might be. When she finds out I'm lazy, bitter, withdrawn, self-conscious, depressing, insecure, self-absorbed, needy, clingy, etc she won't want me. That's the REAL me, and she doesn't want that, so why not just cut to the chase and get rid of her?"
I want a gf, I want a hot looking gf to hang all over me and make feel attractive, important, etc. I want to be able to say I have a gf, and be seen with her. But I want a woman on MY TERMS or not at all. Meaning, if I have to put any effort into changing then I'll just go to a couple of hookers once a year when I get my tax refund or something. Meanwhile, I'll continue to whine and complain about what a victim I am, because women have such a narrow idea of what makes a man "hot" or "sexy".