>>4
I'll do the best I can... how bout I give you this edited copypasta? This should do the trick.
4chan is the guy who tells the cripple ahead of him in line to hurry up.
4chan is first to get to the window to see the car accident outside.
4chan is the one who wrote your number on the mall's bathroom wall.
4chan is a failing student who makes passes at his young, attractive English teacher.
4chan is the guy loitering on Park Ave. that is always trying to sell you something.
4chan is the one who handed his jizz-drenched clothes to Good Will.
4chan is one who introduced you first to Goatse.
4chan is a hot incest dream that you'll try to forget for days.
4chan is the only one of your group of friends to be secure in his sexuality and say anything.
4chan is the guy without ED who still likes trying Viagra.
4chan is the best friend that tags along for your first date and cock-blocks throughout night. The decent girl you're trying to bag walks out on the date, 4chan laughs and takes you home when you're drunk, and you wake up to several hookers in your house who 4chan called for you.
4chan is a friend that constantly asks you to try mutual masturbation with him.
4chan is the guy who calls a suicide hotline to hit on the advisor
4chan is nuking the hard-drive next time someone knocks on his door.
4chan is the one who left a used condom outside the schoolyard.
4chan is the voice in your head that tells you that it doesn't matter if she's drunk.
4chan is the friend who constantly talks about your mom's rack.
4chan is the only one who understands what the hell you saying.
4chan is someone who would pay a hooker to eat his ass, and only that.
4chan is the uncle who has touched you several times.
4chan is still recovering in the hospital, after trying something he saw in a hentai.
4chan is the pleasure you feel guilty of when you tried playing with your anus during masturbation.
4chan is wonderful.