Name: Anonymous 2007-10-13 15:43
Have you always wanted to be the cool guy, who always seems to do the right thing? Or are you dying to be the cool girl, who flows through life with ease and grace? Are all of the 'cool' kids making fun of you? Here are some steps that define the essence of being cool. The rest is up to you.
[edit] Steps
1. Take a deep breath. Being cool is all about being relaxed and comfortable in any circumstance.
2. Act like you don't care what people think of you. We will always, on some level, be concerned with others' opinions of ourselves, but realize that ultimately, you'll never be able to please everyone, so why bother trying? People have millions of ways to get under your skin. Learn to spot them and become immune.
3. Be aware of how people perceive you. This might seem to contradict step 2, but there's a difference in letting people's judgements affect your self esteem, and being aware of how you come off to others. In terms of physical appearance, beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure, try not to stare (it makes people uncomfortable), stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc.
4. Present yourself in a way that makes you feel the most comfortable and confident. Even if people snort about it when you walk by, remember that ultimately, you'll feel ten times more uncomfortable wearing something that just isn't you. Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slump or stare at your feet, people won't respect you. You have to look and feel confident in order to receive the respect you need.
5. Find real friends. For example, if people don't hang out with you because you don't wear designer clothes, they are not real friends. Instead, find friends that see you who for who you are. If the people standing in front of you can't see you for you, then how can they be your friend?
6. Don't be afraid to be different, whether that means standing up for yourself, defending someone else, or taking interest in something that no one else does, like playing an instrument or dancing when no one else will. The coolest people are the ones who occasionally break against the tide and make people question the status quo.
7. Don't lose your cool. If you feel yourself about to lose your temper, or burst into tears, or lose control in any way, take a deep breath and excuse yourself.
8. Practice your voice. Talk with clear voice and add some bass in it. Remember that the way you speak is equally important as the way you show up yourself. Learn not to ask questions and speak with statements.
9. Say what you feel and don't be shy when doing so. Be confident in your word and don't let anyone try and change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry. You said what you felt and people will respect you for that. However, make it count. Don't shout out your opinion just to be heard. Make sure it's relevant, and be ready to back it up soundly.
10. Let the conversation flow. Have light topics you can go on and speak about. What's hot in pop-culture is always a good topic. Avoid topics that do not fit the conversation (ex - talking about work and school after everyone has just been at work or school all day. If you must mention these subjects, just make a comment and then move on).
11. Have good stories you can inject into the conversation. But don't use them just to look cool. Use them only when the conversation has right spot for them. Remember, cool people have many cool stories because their life is so cool.
12. Learn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of clumsiness and discomfort is the defining hallmark of being cool. People will not only respect you for it, but they'll like you for being human, just like them.
13. Practice your cool walk; everyone has their own cool walk so try to find your own. Try it really slow, or really fast. See what works for you.
14. Try writing a list of all of the goals you are aiming for. What essentially makes you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent -- sports, music, art, whatever. People will notice your passion and respect you for it.
15. Be humble and compliment people. the better people feel around you, the better they view you as.