I JUST KILLED MY FUCKING PARENTS!!!1

What do i do??? what do i do ?????
i shot my mom and dad in the back with a shotgun while they were slepping and i dunno why i done it!!!!!!!!!!!11

Do I hide the bodies???
Do i phone the police???
Do i have intercourse with ther remains??

WHAT DO I DO ????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

uh, kill urself?

Okay, clam down!

1st, fuck the cooling corpses.

2nd, carve the bodies up into steaks and freeze them.

3rd, pile the inedible remnants into a x4-bagged Hefty sack, and just dump it into an open garbage container elsewhere in the city.  Try to choose one that has bags that look like yours already in it.

4th, clean up the mess you made.  Get rid of the bedding, and perhaps the bed.  Even a drop of blood left over can condemn you.  Buy a new bed if necessary; in fact, plan on it.  Move any bedding in and out at night, without lighting to betray you, where neighbors won't see you.

5th, clean the shotgun with extreme thoroughness.

6th, maintain innocence and ignorance no matter what anyone says to you.  Practice lying and pleading in front of the mirror until you essentially convince yourself.  Also practice your alibi, which is essentially a story where you came home and found that they left you a note (which you will create and print yourself) that they'll be away for a few days and that you can use the house and car, etc.

7th, get ready to hear a lot of accusations.  Remember, you have no idea what happened to them.  Remember what you practiced in front of the mirror.  Remember, you're an ignorant innocent who has no idea what the detective is talking about.  Where's your mom and dad?  YOU MISS THEM.  Where did they go?  YOU DON'T KNOW.

8th, enjoy your nightly steak.  Mmm-mmmmh!  Mom and dad are being VERY good to you now!

>>3 my god your one sick fuck hahaha, that was hilarius.

kill more !

Just like RedCream said...but don't forget one thing.


BURN THE FUCKING HOUSE FOR MOAR YAO---*shot*

why did you shot them, did they sell your ass to the local church

no, it was just an impulsive thing!!1

Suicide is the only option.

threads like these are 99% serious so expect the fbi to be on everyone ass who has posted here, any advice u give this guy makes u an acomplice, so everyeone here: have fun getting assraped

>>10
well, so you are sir.

>>1
blow your foot off, pretend someone else did it, don't say anything as though you are sufferring from shock

>>10
I did nothing illegal.  Cite the USC title I crossed, fucknancy!

I say give us your real name and phone number so we can congradulate you! Address too!

say moot from 4chan told you to do it
maybe then he'll stop being so gay

fuck your sister

i plead the fif

i fantasize about killing my father when i masturbate.  bzzz.

>>15
>>16
>>17
>>18
Same fag

>>19
No

>>15
>>16
>>17
>>18
>>19
>>20
Samefag.

Simply resurrect their bodies with pixie dust.

also remember to burn their bodies so they won't come back as zombies to kill you.

Eat the bodies the cops will never think to look in there...

>>3

1st point.

If he were to engage in sexual intercourse with the bodies he is literally begging for a DNA investigation proved positive.


2nd point.

Even frosen bodies doesn't lose their smell, and the musty environmental effect suggests that if not the process is moving with haste the container of the unfortunately morbid remnants would not in any way provide shelter.


3rd point.

If he decides to drop them which could practically be his backyard  saves time, but it also expose great risk of detection. Even more so than if he decided to drive off to the other desert and bury them.

4th point.

Essentially the same as with the bodies with the exception of the tendensiy of wood being easiler disposable in nature than human bodies. This point is a minor buildup of the alibi that is already quite unbelievable.

5th point.

The key to the investigation. A good move considering further suspicion would probably arise if the tool used in the act of the killing would be missing.
Also the key to a blunt move which could halter the motive of the murderer.


6th point.

That note can easily be certified as fake, token the time of the murder and the time the note was written would show the large time lap and result in a unconvincing alibi.

7th point.

The human psyche usually undergoes breakdown before this "stage" and would make a convincing acting hard, if not the actor is curiously intelligent and with what this thread purposes the culprit can't be all that smart. I also doubt the age of the culprit, considering the state where he/she may reside, opens the possibility of merciful judgement.

8th point.

If the last 7 points are ever to be realized, which is far from certain.

I must rebut, by points:

#1:  Sexual intercourse evidence would only remain fecund for a short time.  After that, they're steaks and offal.  The offal's going to be thrown out, anyway.  Remember, this is a HATE killing, and all that hate's gotta be expressed.  The killing alone is "too much risk", yet it MUST BE DONE.  Hate demands it.

#2:  The bodies will be steaks, and the remnants will be gone, well before smell becomes an issue.

#3:  The killing alone was risky.  Yet once done you must get rid of the bodies.  Dropping them in a thick sacking into a dumpster with other sacks of similar appearance is just about certain to succeed.  Of course, one must always keep an eye out for watchers.  If I had to dump something like that, I'd do:

#3a. Multiple-layered bagging to avoid rips and smell.
#3b. Multiple bags anyway, for ease in hefting.
#3c. Choosing a rather secluded dumpster.
#3d. Choosing a rather secluded hour to dump.
#3e. Mixing my bags up with other bags of similar appearance.

#6: The time of the note is irrelevant since it will just be printed off on the family computer system.

#7: If you want to get away with it, you'll act.  Teenagers act weird and suspicious anyway ... the guilty teen should capitalize on that and just act weird and suspicious, and then go onward to freaked-out and worried as well.

>>15 speaks truth

i know b/c i am him iw as banned by gay mods who were chokin on moot\'s 1 inch cock

but now im back, miss me?

>>1
i know what you're thinking but becoming a necrophiliac is not an option. Unless your mom is really hot and you wanna fuck the shit out of that gun wound. But you gotta control your Necrophiliac ways until you find that special gothic emo chick which wants to become a hero and want you to fuck her to death with a strap on with a knife attached to it...oops i think i said to much

be an hero nigga just fuck your sister u dyk

Yes, fuck the bodies. You only get one chance to experience necrophilic sex.

Remember, all crimes are redeemable when you become an hero.

YOUR ONLY SALVATION IS THROUGH JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FATHER THE ALMIGHTY, REPENT MY CHILD AND ALL SHALL BE WELL

Leave the bodies out on the street. You'll be allowed to plead insanity JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON'T TRY TO HIDE THE BODIES!