VAGINA

my girlfreinds pussy is cold, kinda like room temperature in a log cabin in the woods during the winter... isn't it supposed to be warm? and *also she didn't make any noise and barely moved when we made love* and i had to compensate for her quietness by being extra loud help me

(*and no she wasent dead dummbies)

you start by foreplaying with a bottle and a burning candle

holla haboo those over her twinkie and insert the penis in mouth

she will ask you to drink her blood

but never, ever, eat her blood. if you do you will be eaten by the troll in her stomach.
If you  homever say her blood is too pure too be drunk she will smile and you may see a faint glow in her vagina

this will be your salvation