fading smiles

i dont really know why im writing this but i guess its because everything is so cold. I remember when i was a child and how things used to be okay. sense then ive been held back told that i had a.d.d. my parents got divorced my brother sexually abused (ass raped) me and ive been drinking (my parents found out last week) and i cant stop. ive cut and in acouple of days im going to go do pot. It just seems like everything is falling through and i cant stop it. Oh and the fact that i fail every damn test in math doesn't help....
I just dont know what to do its just too much