hi...

hi, i just found this site tonight...lol, right, what a night huh?

i'm shane, 20 yrs old, in college, and i dont even have a social life enough to go out and meet people.

Somehow none of my "friends" notice anything is out of place, and as much as i try to talk about it with them they're totally ignorant...they all go out and have their fun little lives and are seemingly none the wiser despite my attempts.

my parents are older, i'm an only child and they come from the school of thought that if you're depressed or suicidal, its your own fault and you should just "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" and move on.

don't they know i would if i could?

i'm scared to talk to people, i'm scared to make friends, and i'm scared to go out on my own.

i know i'm not what society considers attractive - i'm 6' 190, dark hair and eyes...lol, my mom says i'm "tall dark and handsome" but since i dont have a 6pack girls wont talk to me.

i know i'm just costing my parents money because of college and the truck and food et all...and i just can't help thinking that their life together would be so much simpler without me here.

same with my friends - i'm sure their lives would be much happier if they didnt have to put up with me always asking to do things.

i used to be able to write and get this stuff out, but its not working anymore at all...

i don't want you to think that i'm a weak person - i have broad shoulders, and i've always been able to pick myself up.

i just don't think i can this time...

i TOO  am afraid to talk to ppl .... soo you are not alone give me your email and we can have a nice chat ^^

Hey thanks for the reply, I'm sory but my fear of people prevents me from giving you my email.. lets talk here on dis.4chan instead for now..

Awwww... ;_;

I really know what you mean. It's just so scary, and nobody understands that you feel like a weak burden.
Seems like you really need somebody to vent all your troubles to. Do you have Skype or use irc? I'd be willing to lend an ear, and 4chan can be brutal sometimes.

a fear of talking to people is something that isnt easy to get over.  mabye the best thing you could do right now is just call up one of your "friends"  it will be tough, but it could be the best thing you ever did