confuzzled

I am 19 year old male who has had a anxiety disorder for 3 years now and and now cannot stop thinking about the "subject" suicide i don't think about killing myslef its just the subject suicide....does this mean that i am suicidal....Evertime i hear the word suicide i get a strong fear come on to me...now i hope that this is just anxiety, this obsessive thought is always on my mind, it's making me depressed very badly becasue its a very very scary thought and its stuck in my mind...my mother commited suicide when i was 14 and i have been thinking about her lots latley...i dunno if that has a role in my thoughts....i mean i go out and do stuff and i enjoy them, i laugh i play sports i do alot of stuff that makes me happy but this thought is killing me, its making me feel depressed...I fear that i am going to loose control and end up doing it, its a strong fear that gives me bad butterflys all day....sometimes i will get these anxiety attacks and worry at that time i will end it...can anyone please tell me if i am suicidal or not...i just can't believe its stick in my head....

Have sex with numerous men.

If satisfied, kill yourself.

Your anxiety is just adrenalin. Put that adrenalin to better use!

And think about better things than suicide. There's nothing there. Forget religious paranoia, there's nothing. Phht. So think about the awesome things that are here for you!

And then get anxious about dying!

You see, this is why I'm not a therapist.

anxiety

Suicide? In MY Neighbourhood?

masturbate in the bushes near the beach