Name: Anonymous 2007-09-01 18:11 ID:ZWsmSqwF
A LINUS TORVALDS BUST, by SGR and Patrick May
IMAGINE THIS GIRL KICKS YOUR NUTS
It was a fine sunny day.
Linus Torvalds, a computer programmer, was working away at his computer. He prided himself on the big blue K at the bottom left of his screen.
"Ah... a wonderful day to be using KDE." He remarked.
The sun shone in his window, and he got very hot. He gasped in the heat.
"I will go to the shop and buy some powerade."
As he walked his mind drifted on a debate he had been having over the internet. And then rage filled up in him as he thought of the Gnome desktop. As he was occupied within himself, he didn't notice someone approaching him.
CRASH!
Suddenly his heart leaped! "Oooooooooooopsss!!!!!" he cried, and fell to the ground.
He had not looked where he was going, and walked into a beautiful young woman. Her knee had colided with his balls!
"Oh, I'm sorry. I think you weren't paying attention to where you were going," she said.
"Ahhh... I'm in such pain." Linus said.
She noticed, however, his cock grew hard.
She kicked his kneed balls again!
"Nooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!" cried poor Linus. With just one kick of his balls, his whole body writhed in terrible pain. The vision of his eyes went dark, and he passed out.
When he woke up, he was in a flat he didn't recognise.
"Where am I?" he asked.
The door was closed.
He heard footsteps. The door opened, and the beautiful young lady came in, wearing very sensual clothing.
Linus, noticing the woman, tried to escape. However, he was tied to the bed!
"I see you have woke up," she said.
"Agh! Why are you doing this to me?"
Before he could say anything else, she placed her foot on his testes.
She applied pressure. "Ooooooouuuuuuuuhhhhhhh!" screamed poor Linus.
His balls were being compressed greatly.
His cock grew hard.
"Heh heh heh" laughed the woman. "I am compressing your balls, as if I were running them through bzip2."
"Aaaaaaaa!!!!!" cried linus.
"No! Stop!" he screamed. She loosened slightly.
Then, she leaned forward, her hand reaching towards Linus' scrotum. "What are you doing?" he asked nervously. "Stop!" he started screaming in force.
Then, she pinched his left ball, and nailed hard!
*BANG* "Ooooooouuuuhhhhhoouuuuurggggghhhh!"
His left ball was popped completely!
"AGH!! Aaaugh ooough!" shouted Linus. He writhed on the bed greatly, and went very red in his scrotum.
His cock was very stiff.
Even through all this torture, his penus remained very large.
"I know you are a dirty man, Linus." Said the woman, with a great grin on her face. "Every day, you argue with us GNOME developers. You say that we are dumbing down the user interface. Well, now I am dumbing down your testes."
"Please, stop!" Said Linus. He was crying now, and his face was wet with tears.
She went for the right ball.
Her foot was going slowly on it.
Linus writhed in pain, shaking and trembling.
Then suddenly, the police bashed the door down.
"STOP! POLICE!" They shouted.
Linus felt great relief. "Thank goodness. This woman is terrorizing me. She greatly damaged my testes."
"We will take her for questioning. In just a minute... heh heh heh." Suddenly, the policewoman took out her baton and prodded his remaining testicle with it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" shouted Linus.
"NOOOOOOOOOOUUUUHHHHH." Linus could not believe it.
"What are you doing!!!" asked Linus.
"We all know what you've been doing, Linus. You think you're a hot-shot, man. Several times I slaved over a hot computer and wrote device drivers, but you would not accept them into the kernel. It is why I became a police officer."
She then smacked his hard COCK with the baton.
"HOOOOOOUUURGGHHHOURGGHH!" Linus was on the verge of blacking out.
Suddenly, Richard Stallman broke into the room.
"Hi, I'm Richard Stallman." He said. Then proceeded to leave.
After he left, The building was structurally damaged from his entrance. And the cieling began to cave in. A large part broke off, and landed on his damaged left ball!
"Ouuuhhhh. Aaaaaahhhhh! Aagghhhhouuuuughhh!" Linus was in pain beyond belief at this point.
The police officer and the young women laughed at him, as he writhed on the bed.
"Hey, do what you gotta do." Said the police officer.
"Yes." Said the young woman. She leaned over to linus, and took his right ball into her hand.
"Nooooooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!" He knew what she was going to do.
"Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase!!!"
She grasped the ball hard!
"Aaaaoouuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!" Linus' scrotum and cock were spewing blood.
He was in such pain, he blacked out.
When he woke up, he found himself in hospital. He looked to his side... and saw a get-well card.
He took it over and read it. As he read, he filled with rage. He took down his trousers and pumped up his COCK with great vigor.
Though his COCK was damaged, it grew to an impressive size.
With his COCK fully pumped, he shot a lazer beam from the end, and destroyed several parts of the hospital.
As the building fell apart, his COCK laser increased the strain on his broken balls. At that time, his laser energy charged up in his balls, and he felt a great pain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAUGH" he cried, and his balls exploded! Suddenly, the entire KDE development team showed up. They had heard of his illness, and had come to wish him a quick recovery.
At the sight of his massively pumped up COCK, they cheered and whooped. "Go Linus! Let's show them what a COCK is really made of!" they shouted at him.
Though his BALLS were in pain, he felt great pride at their shouts of encouragement.
"ALRIGHT LADS, VIEW THIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. THEY DON'T CALL ME LINUS TORVALDS FOR NOTHING." And then he shot several mighty blasts into the nearest computer, and by doing so developed Linux 2.7.0 in less than one minute.
At this very moment, several large explosions issued from his COCK, and he groaned with pain.
Then, he shouted "WOHOOOOOOOOOOUAAAAAAAAAUGHGHGHGHGGH" and his COCK exploded.
The KDE team were all shocked and asked each other "How can Linus develop Linux without his COCK? This is a troubing time for software indeed."
So they all went home, and Linus moaned in pain as several doctors tended to his injured COCK.
The end.
IMAGINE THIS GIRL KICKS YOUR NUTS
It was a fine sunny day.
Linus Torvalds, a computer programmer, was working away at his computer. He prided himself on the big blue K at the bottom left of his screen.
"Ah... a wonderful day to be using KDE." He remarked.
The sun shone in his window, and he got very hot. He gasped in the heat.
"I will go to the shop and buy some powerade."
As he walked his mind drifted on a debate he had been having over the internet. And then rage filled up in him as he thought of the Gnome desktop. As he was occupied within himself, he didn't notice someone approaching him.
CRASH!
Suddenly his heart leaped! "Oooooooooooopsss!!!!!" he cried, and fell to the ground.
He had not looked where he was going, and walked into a beautiful young woman. Her knee had colided with his balls!
"Oh, I'm sorry. I think you weren't paying attention to where you were going," she said.
"Ahhh... I'm in such pain." Linus said.
She noticed, however, his cock grew hard.
She kicked his kneed balls again!
"Nooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!" cried poor Linus. With just one kick of his balls, his whole body writhed in terrible pain. The vision of his eyes went dark, and he passed out.
When he woke up, he was in a flat he didn't recognise.
"Where am I?" he asked.
The door was closed.
He heard footsteps. The door opened, and the beautiful young lady came in, wearing very sensual clothing.
Linus, noticing the woman, tried to escape. However, he was tied to the bed!
"I see you have woke up," she said.
"Agh! Why are you doing this to me?"
Before he could say anything else, she placed her foot on his testes.
She applied pressure. "Ooooooouuuuuuuuhhhhhhh!" screamed poor Linus.
His balls were being compressed greatly.
His cock grew hard.
"Heh heh heh" laughed the woman. "I am compressing your balls, as if I were running them through bzip2."
"Aaaaaaaa!!!!!" cried linus.
"No! Stop!" he screamed. She loosened slightly.
Then, she leaned forward, her hand reaching towards Linus' scrotum. "What are you doing?" he asked nervously. "Stop!" he started screaming in force.
Then, she pinched his left ball, and nailed hard!
*BANG* "Ooooooouuuuhhhhhoouuuuurggggghhhh!"
His left ball was popped completely!
"AGH!! Aaaugh ooough!" shouted Linus. He writhed on the bed greatly, and went very red in his scrotum.
His cock was very stiff.
Even through all this torture, his penus remained very large.
"I know you are a dirty man, Linus." Said the woman, with a great grin on her face. "Every day, you argue with us GNOME developers. You say that we are dumbing down the user interface. Well, now I am dumbing down your testes."
"Please, stop!" Said Linus. He was crying now, and his face was wet with tears.
She went for the right ball.
Her foot was going slowly on it.
Linus writhed in pain, shaking and trembling.
Then suddenly, the police bashed the door down.
"STOP! POLICE!" They shouted.
Linus felt great relief. "Thank goodness. This woman is terrorizing me. She greatly damaged my testes."
"We will take her for questioning. In just a minute... heh heh heh." Suddenly, the policewoman took out her baton and prodded his remaining testicle with it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" shouted Linus.
"NOOOOOOOOOOUUUUHHHHH." Linus could not believe it.
"What are you doing!!!" asked Linus.
"We all know what you've been doing, Linus. You think you're a hot-shot, man. Several times I slaved over a hot computer and wrote device drivers, but you would not accept them into the kernel. It is why I became a police officer."
She then smacked his hard COCK with the baton.
"HOOOOOOUUURGGHHHOURGGHH!" Linus was on the verge of blacking out.
Suddenly, Richard Stallman broke into the room.
"Hi, I'm Richard Stallman." He said. Then proceeded to leave.
After he left, The building was structurally damaged from his entrance. And the cieling began to cave in. A large part broke off, and landed on his damaged left ball!
"Ouuuhhhh. Aaaaaahhhhh! Aagghhhhouuuuughhh!" Linus was in pain beyond belief at this point.
The police officer and the young women laughed at him, as he writhed on the bed.
"Hey, do what you gotta do." Said the police officer.
"Yes." Said the young woman. She leaned over to linus, and took his right ball into her hand.
"Nooooooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!" He knew what she was going to do.
"Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase!!!"
She grasped the ball hard!
"Aaaaoouuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!" Linus' scrotum and cock were spewing blood.
He was in such pain, he blacked out.
When he woke up, he found himself in hospital. He looked to his side... and saw a get-well card.
He took it over and read it. As he read, he filled with rage. He took down his trousers and pumped up his COCK with great vigor.
Though his COCK was damaged, it grew to an impressive size.
With his COCK fully pumped, he shot a lazer beam from the end, and destroyed several parts of the hospital.
As the building fell apart, his COCK laser increased the strain on his broken balls. At that time, his laser energy charged up in his balls, and he felt a great pain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAUGH" he cried, and his balls exploded! Suddenly, the entire KDE development team showed up. They had heard of his illness, and had come to wish him a quick recovery.
At the sight of his massively pumped up COCK, they cheered and whooped. "Go Linus! Let's show them what a COCK is really made of!" they shouted at him.
Though his BALLS were in pain, he felt great pride at their shouts of encouragement.
"ALRIGHT LADS, VIEW THIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. THEY DON'T CALL ME LINUS TORVALDS FOR NOTHING." And then he shot several mighty blasts into the nearest computer, and by doing so developed Linux 2.7.0 in less than one minute.
At this very moment, several large explosions issued from his COCK, and he groaned with pain.
Then, he shouted "WOHOOOOOOOOOOUAAAAAAAAAUGHGHGHGHGGH" and his COCK exploded.
The KDE team were all shocked and asked each other "How can Linus develop Linux without his COCK? This is a troubing time for software indeed."
So they all went home, and Linus moaned in pain as several doctors tended to his injured COCK.
The end.