Why am I thinking like this!?

I have posted on this topic before and I am back again in the same situation. I have found myself tonight not wanting to live anymore. Me and my ex broke up a little over a month ago now and I am still not dealing with it well at all. I have had good days and bad but tonight is one of the worst. I have been talking with my ex over the phone and saw her a few times since we broke up. I know a lot of people suggest the whole NC thing but we were doing ok with just talking once in a while. I have been on a few dates since we broke up but I won't lie the whole time I have had hopes me and her would end up back together. Anyway tonight I found out she is dating a new guy. When she told me it completely broke my heart. It made me realize that she really does not have any feeling left in her to get back together with me. I still want her back so bad and thinking now that it is not going to happen makes me not want to live any longer. I don't know what to do. I want her back so bad and she doesn't want it at all. I do have family and friends who would be so crushed over me killing myself but I just don't see a reason to live. It is hard to do it when the one thing I lived for is no longer a part of my life. I give up on even writing this post. Screw it...

and my mom got scared
And said you're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She give me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket
Put my walkman on and said I might as well kick it
First class yo this is bad
Drinkin' orange juice out of a champagne glass
Is this what the people of Bel-Air live like
Hmmm this might be all right

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh", and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought man forget it yo homes to Bel-Air

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'yo homes smell ya later'
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air

GTFO emofag.

i hope i'm right.