Name: Anonymous 2007-08-31 22:34 ID:HedwD04R
All my life I have felt seperated and isolated from everyone including my family. My Dad would always pick on me about practically anything he could find especially about me being overweight and this hurt me so much but I tried so hard to not let him see just how much he was hurting me or let anyone else see how unhappy I was. My bedroom was like my safe place. Nothing or nobody could hurt me there.
Just over five years ago my dad had a heart attack and about five months earlier we stopped talking, I was so sick of being verbally abused I would just try to stay out of his way.
When he had the heart attack I was first there to try and help and it seemed like everything was going in slow motion I tried to get him breathing but at the same time I was thinking why help him after everything he has put me through. He later died. I felt so guilty and still do.
A couple of years after that I ended up taking an overdose of paracetomal. I couldn't talk to my mum about how I was feeling and ended up saying it was because of money problems but it wasn't it was because of feeling constantly lonely and everything that happened in the past with my dad.
Now I am back on anti-depressants, seeing a counsellor and think about killing myself everyday. It doesn't seem to matter what I've got in my life, nothing seems to fill the deep, sad lonely feelings and the thought of living another 40/50 years feeling like this I honestly don't think I can.
Sometimes I wish I was Dead
Just over five years ago my dad had a heart attack and about five months earlier we stopped talking, I was so sick of being verbally abused I would just try to stay out of his way.
When he had the heart attack I was first there to try and help and it seemed like everything was going in slow motion I tried to get him breathing but at the same time I was thinking why help him after everything he has put me through. He later died. I felt so guilty and still do.
A couple of years after that I ended up taking an overdose of paracetomal. I couldn't talk to my mum about how I was feeling and ended up saying it was because of money problems but it wasn't it was because of feeling constantly lonely and everything that happened in the past with my dad.
Now I am back on anti-depressants, seeing a counsellor and think about killing myself everyday. It doesn't seem to matter what I've got in my life, nothing seems to fill the deep, sad lonely feelings and the thought of living another 40/50 years feeling like this I honestly don't think I can.
Sometimes I wish I was Dead