Name: Anonymous 2007-08-30 23:50 ID:0Y97ZWPF
i hate this so much, i hate being alive. it seems that each day i manage to screw up in a completely different way, i wish i could just kill myself so i wouldnt have to feel this pain any more, but i know i cant. it wouldnt be fair to do that to my friends and family, iv already hurt them enough. i gues im just looking for some other escape which doesnt include living, or dying, lol, doesnt really leave much else does it?
gues that just means im stuck here. i dont even mind so much if i can never be happy, just as long as i dont hurt as much as this, i cant bear it. i just feel so lonely and depressed and i cant seem to be able to escape the thought that in the end, absolutely everything is pointless and worthless.
of course i know that there are so many other people out there who are probably feeling a hell of a lot worse than i am right now, but i cant help but focus on myself. god, i hate it that im so self centred.
sorry about this post, im pretty sure most of it doesnt even make sense, i just need a bit of a rant