this world disgusts me

I hate it when people say its selfish to want to die! so its better to stay alive and pretend to be happy?
so we dont hurt the ones we love?
what about me? when do i get to care for myself?
if i want to die then damnit i should be able. and if the people around me cant handle it. get a grip!

a little about me: im 38 never been married.
i have zer0 friends. i live in a place where no one knows!
i have been depressed and wanted to die since i was 20.
i have tried to kill my self 1 times, unfortunately i thought about it and planned it several times....i just find myself counting the days till i can rid myself of the filth of this world.

im not here because im ready to killmyself.. yes rampant thought have been infesting my mind all day. so i thought about posting somethoughts to people i dont know in hopes it will make me feel better and thats all!!!!!!

i do know the meaning of life and i do know things most people dont about life! and whats really going on right now in the world, and whats been going on..
maybe thats a big factor in keeping my severe depression gripping me!

>>1
yeah i know what you said, i know what youer tring to say.
but so warming inside her belly...((*´Д`)huh huh
remember

I really understand where you're coming from. It's like, who are THEY to tell us we shouldn't kill ourselves? Not that I want to right now, but it should be a person's own decision, you get me? It just pisses me off sometimes when I see like ten threads about somebody wanting to die, and Anon just jokes about it.

Really, there's nothing you can say to somebody who wants to die. If you offer comfort, alot of the time it just has the opposite effect, because people who are suicidal are often paranoid. If you encourage them they'll just get more depressed.

Like, what the hell? You know? Maybe some people really ought to kill themselves. And maybe those people want to leave a mark on the world. Something that proves that they were here. Like the last time I tried, I wrote letters to everyone I knew. For the people I really didn't like, I nailed letters to trees in front of their houses.

Anyway, you sound like a decent, intelligent guy. You ought to try collecting snowglobes.

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