I am currently being paid to: listen to metal, read 4chan, play F.E.A.R., take the occasional piss and dream up new ways to make the I.T. manager here look bad. Who else has their dream job and what is it?
Assassin. I just kill whomever I target for whatever reason I fancy, and take their shit while they're bleeding out. Generally, it's better to target those folks in charge of a lot of money. After all, it's hard to buy a good silencer on the pickings from some Quickie Mart clerk.