How Can I Stop Being An Asshole?

Seriously.
Inside my head its all fun and games, but in reality this is how I'm being portrayed, including family and friends.
Today a close friend was being funny and remarked "Do you have the skills to pay the bills?" And he said this referring to his skills in a particular sport that we happened to be playing in good spirits. Yet I quickly remarked "You have the skills to go bankrupt." Which he had to do several years back.
Why am I so mean?
4chan only encourages this behaviour, yet I continue coming back for the lulz.
Halp.

ps. i wrote that in haste

Being an asshole is both awesome and lulzy, if people bitch about it I often find that a good raping shuts them up.

ps. i was just kidding im just bored and im really really nice ok seriously.

stop being a fag then

lul