need help w/serious social problem

i kind of feel withdrawn from all socially accepting forms of life. i can't joke around with my friends. they tell me to make fun of them when i find myself to be so flawed that i find nothing wrong with anyone other than the really bad stuff they do. if i make fun of them it'll be stuff that will piss them off, and so all i can do is just sit there and be quiet. i've never realized how boring i am. i don't know how to fix myself. i need help

Boring is great, I'm sick of live wire guys constantly yapping joking and farting

>>1
Lesson #1: Dont come here for help. In fact dont even go on the internet at all for help.

Join the military, #1.

how to fix yourself? there are vets all over the place that will do it for like $90

the gays will accept you.

go back to school or join the military