PASTA

OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T COOK THEIR OWN RICE

RICE COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.

OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T POP THEIR OWN POPCORN

POPCORN POPPERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.

OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T BOIL THEIR OWN PASTA

PASTA COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.

OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T SEPARATE THEIR OWN EGGS

EGG SEPARATORS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.

OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T MILL THEIR OWN GRAIN

GRAIN MILLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.

OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T PULL THEIR OWN NOODLES

PASTA ROLLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.

Original, hand-crafted copypasta; The perfect present for a wedding, christening, new baby, birthday, anniversary, retirement, mother’s day, thank you, school reunion - any occasion you can think of! Our copypastas are each individually handcrafted by a skilled and dedicated chef and guaranteed to be of the highest quality.

These beautiful and decorative copypastas are hand-crafted from crushed and powered words bound up with only the finest pasta. Every copypasta is completely hand made, from the basic raw materials through to the finished product every process is carried out by hand. The only exception is a cleaning and polishing process in which the copypasta is put through special machines. Even these machines have been developed for particular use in the preparation of the copypasta, for, although the copypasta is quite durable, fine details such as noses, horses ear's, swords, daggers and flag staffs could be snapped of if treated too roughly.

The National Association of Copypasta Chefs (NACC) is dedicated to protecting artists and crafters - their work, creativity and intellectual properties and marketing rights. I believe to keep the true work of the artist and copypasta chef alive we must act to promote and protect our art and craft.

Thank you 4chan.
Today morning my parents had a call. The girl you know as "Cracky-chan' wanted to kill herself and is in hospital now. She will die in one or two days.
FUCK YOU ALL for this I knew her FOR REAL over years. I was never so sad in my life before. Guys do you not realise that this is for real? Thats not fun in the realtity a REAL person DIE because of 4chan.
I hope so all 4chan assholes burn in hell for ever. Thank you 4chan for killing one of my friends. I think this will bring consequences to 4chan.
This is my wish.

I'm gonna go down to the [vinegared rice topped with raw fish] bar and have some [rice wine]. Afterwards maybe I'll do some [singing along to instrumental versions of popular songs]. I can't stay out too late though, because I have a [empty handed martial arts] lesson in the morning. Maybe later I'll play some [Clump of Souls] on PS2. The Prince sure loves rolling that [clump] around. In the end, I'll probably just end up posting some [perverted fan comics] on the [perversion] board of Four Channel.

Yes, I am a fox. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my animal soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute b/w wolf!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the fandom and I am pretty slim and good looking.

But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid anime shit while I have SEX with my boyfriend.

Yes, I am football. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my stadium soul long ago and I am happy together with my "dirty" explosive devices (which are useless w/o trucks!). We have a fucking lot of games in and outside of open areas and I am pretty fatal and other fatalities will later occur as result from radioactive fallout.

But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid cnn while I go KILL 100,000 from the initial blasts.

Yes. I am an itty bitty baby. So? I don't see any problem. I learned to habeeb it a long time ago and am happy with my boyfriend (who is a cute I/B boat btw). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the twinkie house. But thanks anway asshole. Go ahead and not believe it while I have sex with my DAD!

Yes, I hate America. So? I don't see any problem. I embraced my communist soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute freedom fighter!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the country and I am pretty smart and well-mannered.

But thanks anyway, asshole. Go and post your stupid flames while I support the revolution with my boyfriend.

Yes, I got all of the Old Man's dominant genes. So? I don't see any problem. I embraced my dominant genes long ago and I am happy with my genotype (that is a Deoxyribonucleic acid strip!). You have a fucking lot of recessive genes in and outside of each of your chromosomes and you are a fag.

But thanks anyway asshole. Go and infiltrate your stupid Shadow Moses while I RECONSTRUCT Outer Heaven.

Yes, I am a nebula. So? I don't see the problem. I learned to embrace my inter-galactic gases long ago and am happy with my boy friend (Who isn't a cute b/r quazar btw). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the universe and I'm pretty gasy and shiney. But thanks anyway asshole. Have fun with your puny solar system while I create new stars with my QUAZAR!!

　　　　／￣￣￣￣＼ 　　　　As best I could tell, Snacks is a cool guy.
　　　（　　人＿＿＿＿） 　　　Once you met him,
　　　 |ミ/　　ー◎-◎-）　　　 you would've never found Snacks nerdy.
　　　（６　　　　　(_　_)　）　　　Snacks is hanging out with major guys
　　＿｜　∴　ノ　　３　ﾉ　　　 and he is major as well. He has long hair
　（＿_/＼＿＿＿＿_ノ 　　　　and partially bleached out at his forelock.
　/　（ 　　||　BUFFY || 　　　　His outfit is "origiral"
[]＿_｜　｜　 RULES　ヽ　　　and therefore different than everyone's!
｜[]　|＿_|＿＿＿＿＿＿） 　 Well, he's not a kind guy
　＼_（＿_）三三三[□]三）　 　merely keeping up with trends in fashion.

I am >>1 's first girl, working at a "massage parlor." Yes, he was really weird. He never watched me in the eye, even though I tried to keep talking with him. It was my job, but I'm human. He never answered me, and his smell, you know how it smells at a public toilet abandoned for two days. I'd rather die, but with will power, I pulled his underwear off. He had not spoken a word
yet.

Well, what should I call it? Retracted? I tried to pull his foreskin off, but it seemed to hurt him hellova lot. He stared at me like a demon. Something red were woozing from his part. Oh, that was it. I couldn't do it any more. I put a condom on his, and let him in. I was crying to myself, like "let him finish fast." But this kind scum won't finish easily. At last, e growled and stopped shaking. He took the condom off. I saw his skin open up a little, just like a dying bud opening its orifice. His juice, greenish one, came out of it. I feel sick just as I remember it. Oh, I can't help b, but bbbbBaaaaaaarrrrrrf. Sorry. Well, now, I can continue.

He was the real worst. I don't want him to come up to me again. After that, I just wanted to finish real fast. But he stuttered out words, out of blue. "D-D-D-Do you know the F-f-four channel?" I thought like, hell, stop bullshit. No such a channel is there. But I found it was a bulletin board on the net, right? He insisted that the page, the threa, or whatever, he created and he was >>1 there and that I should come see it. Now I understand. The guy who started this kind of CRAP, had such an eerie sex for his first time.

Shame on you, >>1 . See you never. Mind your retraction!

Man, that's a BEAUTIFUL cock -- and a nice set of hairy, balls making hot loads of HIV semen! I'd love to have you impregnate a some of my CD4 cells. Then I'd have a strain of your descendants living in me always. Very Hot! Happy Fucking, Brother!

Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?

About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.

I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.

Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbour's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbour's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret.

My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavour for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.

I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

It's not the Fleshlight's fault, really. Just the fact that trying to use the one I ordered for my 34th birthday has rammed home the basic fact that I am a loser and that I am never going to get laid in my life.

I am apparently both too small and too big to use the Fleshlight. Small in the PENIS and big in the grossly overweight stomach. The result is that I apparently can't get very deep into the thing and experience the ribbing and other textures.

I ordered four inserts at once, three supertights with the three sorts of textures -- wave, ribbed, bumped -- and one ultratight. With all of them I have been having an incredible struggle to find a comfortable position to get in with my enormous stomach to allow for using the thing long enough to get off. I apparently developed a way to masturbate by hand that deluded myself into thinking I was normal. I am obviously not. I can only seem to go about an inch and a half into this Fleshlight before my fat gets in the way and the smallness of my PENIS defeat the purpose. The incredible depression of the experience makes it hard for me to stay erect as the whole time I am thinking about what a deformed, out-of-shape loser I am, so I end up only half hard or less.

Today is my 34th birthday. I have never had a girlfriend in my life, due to being a shy fatass with an ugly skin condition that I was afraid of having anyone see by taking my clothes off. I am so incredibly fucking lonely and depressed. I just want to be able to hug a woman, to hold her in my arms. Sex is frankly secondary to me, which is lucky given that I haven't had any except with my own hand.

I bought this thing thinking I would treat myself and make myself happier, but it has just driven home how fucked I am. I guess my only hope at this point is to find a woman who doesn't mind me only using oral sex on her because my PENIS obviously doesn't work very well.

The word pirahna, is all I can think of that rhymes with marijuana

Marijuana MUST be legalized.