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Torn over what I really want

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-20 6:45 ID:nOnEaq2l

On the one hand I want a gf. Not just date, not hang out with women, not just go out and get laid, but a gf. A serious committed relationship, and I want this for several reasons.

1) Because it would be an ego boost to be seen with her assuming she's cute (and if she's not that's out of the question), at least a 6 or 7 in the looks dept.
2) it would also be an ego boost to be able to say I have a gf, talk about what I did with my girlfriend over the weekend, etc
3) I have a tickling fetish, and I honestly want to tickle a good looking woman much more than I want to have sex with her. Ordinarily what I do is, when I can afford it go out to places (massage parlors, gentleman's clubs, etc) and pay women to let me tickle them, then go home and masturbate. But that gets expensive and so I can't afford to do it often so it would be more cost-effective to have a gf that I could do that stuff with for free, and whenever I wanted.
4) probably most importantly, having a reasonably good looking woman hanging all over me, especially in public, and being really into me would make me feel attractive, important, etc. I know I know, people always say that a woman doing those things wouldn't make me feel better about myself because it has to come from within blah blah blah. Well I would really rather find out for myself if having a cute gf doing the things I want would make me feel good about myself, rather than taking someone's word for it.
I actually resent HAVING to have something that would give me "value" in a woman's eyes. I just want a woman to take me as I am. I'm fat, lazy, needy, clingy, selfish, insecure, timid, passive, VERY MUCH lacking in self-confidence, a recluse, have no desire for new things or new experiences, and am basically just killing time until I die.
Assuming I do decide that I want to try having my first gf (I'm about to turn 34), assuming I even decide one way or another, for my purposes and my needs what kind of woman would be good for me and any tips on finding women like that?

Name: Ang 2007-06-20 10:45 ID:sy6UiH9Q

If you're fat, lazy, needy, clingy, etc. then what in the world do you have to offer a woman??  You could probably get an ugly fat one, but definitely not a "6 or 7" in the looks department.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-20 11:21 ID:DtH0nGQE

what motivation would a 6 or 7 have to want to be with a 2 or 3?

just pay a whore to hang on you in public, then lie about it in conversation.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-20 11:23 ID:qZ277pUQ

solution:
Fleshlight(s and animu)

Don't change these.
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