I have a medical question

I am way to ashamed to go to the doctor with this.
If anyone here can help, please do.

Ok, so here's the story:

I have developed a strange habit which is to pluck my pubic hairs and chew on them.
One day when I was in my room, I decided to take it a step further. So I took a pair of scissors and proceeded to cut of all of my pubic hair.
So I put my pants back on, and put all of the hairs in my mouth and then start chewing them. It was great, but all of a sudden, my mother walks in (without knocking) and asks me where the remote of the television is. Her favorite show was about to start, and earlier that day I took the remote to my room to replace the batteries. I put it on the kitchen table, but how was supposed to tell her that?
So, anyway, there I am, with a mouth full of pubic hair. I can't answer, and I can't nod or mumble because she knows I'm supposed to know where the remote is.
I panicked. I just panicked, and swallowed the pubic hairs.

Now, what will happen? Will it turn into a ball of hair? Will I just crap it out? Should I get my stomach pumped?
Help me 4chan!

it will form a cyst you will get cancer and you will die

lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao lmao. dude i think youll be ok. you might get a nasty hairball tho. caturday mothaafukkas