Jews

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People who can open cans with their noses.

The crucified criminals stand on their little platforms, arms spread wide, staring with dread at the pink demon before them, they each say, consecutively, the word “bugger” and the two men beside Jesus faint from shock. Jesus, however, doesn’t and stands on his little platform, awaiting the message from his father.

Silence.

Enraged by this bunny’s refusal to speak, Jesus screams, “servant of my Father, answer me! Why thee who art born from the Earth from my Fathers hand, here before my eyes do not speaketh to me his message?! Why doth thou stand with silence echoing?! Answer me! By the Lord our Father, answer me!”

The rabbit speaks calmly and quietly but is heard clearly. His voice is that of an angelic child being ravaged by a horse: screaming its last will and testament. “Your “Father” is very disappointed.” Following this, he hops over towards the vulnerable messiah and with his claws rips out our Lord and saviours tongue, relinquishing a garbled cry and a spurt of blood.

The Easter bunny tosses the tongue away into a juniper bush, curls his fingers around the forearms of Christ and with a swift tug rips his hands from the cross. He tears upwards, carving a slice half way through both of his hands. Jesus spasms with pain and unleashes a torrent of garbled pain-stricken remarks which are ignored by the Easter bunny.

He continues to remove Jesus from his cross, throwing him to the ground, causing him to curl up into the foetal position and whimper softly to himself in an attempt to make this event, somehow, disappear. The Easter bunny waits for Jesus to regain some of his dignity as he crawls around in the mud, crying and bleeding, but grows impatient as our Lord and Saviour cries out in pain with every attempt at standing. “I grow weary of your tribulations, Jesus. I have now freed you from your cross to offer you a choice; you can either be nailed back up onto the cross, die and forgive all of man of their sins thus bringing peace to the world forever and ever, or disappear like a coward and be nothing more than an old tradition. Choose, and it will be so.”

Jesus doesn’t have his tongue but he tries his very best; “UH ATTA!” he cries, “UH ATTA! UH ATTA!”.

“The latter? You wish to give up this chance of world peace to save yourself some pain?” The Easter bunny recoils in shock; he expects more honour from the son of God. “Fine. If you want the coward’s way out, you may do so and as the servant of the one true God I will assist his son in doing so.” The Easter bunny lifts Jesus to his feet with his well muscled arms, gripping him by the hair, causing Jesus to yell in pain before collapsing to the floor once more with his hair ripped out by the root. “Oh, I am sorry, Jesus; please do forgive me.” He silences a chortle with a cough and lifts Jesus up above his head; carrying him back towards the cross.

“OTT ARE OO OUIN!” Jesus screams as he is taken back towards his execution plinth.

“I’m nailing you back to the cross,” replies the Easter bunny, “just like you told me to.”.
“OTT?!” Jesus exclaims. He tries to put up some form of struggle, but is unable due to his blood loss and pain.

“I am going to nail you back onto the cross backwards,” informs the Easter bunny. Jesus is shocked; he didn’t think this was going to happen. He thought he was free. Unfortunately not- because God apparently has plans for him; most of which are of him dying on that cross.

Placed back onto his own cross, his feet firmly placed back onto the little stoop granted for him, Jesus rests his head on the wooden beam as his right wrist is yanked upwards and nailed into position followed by his left wrist. Each ooze with blood and are partnered with their own customary Jesus moan of pain.

Jesus is secured to the cross for a second time; his arse wiggling in the breeze.

The Easter bunny feels a rush of blood to his groin; his erection begins to grow. “It is time, Jesus, for you to receive my body, the one of true and everlasting, to be shared with you and you alone so that your sins may be forgiven. You will take this; in memory of me.” The Easter bunny’s penis reached its full length, a large furry pink cock, throbbing with each heartbeat; it stood, silent, awaiting orders.

Piercing the soft flesh of Jesus’ buttocks with his talons, he rips them apart, revealing the tightly clenched holy hole of the Lord Jesus Christ himself. With a throaty snarl, the Easter bunny gathers up a sufficient amount of phlegm and dribbles it down the Messiah’s spread crack, moistening the lips, aiding the lubrication.

When deemed efficiently lubricated, the Easter bunny begins to insert himself slowly into the anus of Jesus. As he inches himself in, Jesus lets out a dry whimper of mercy, but his tongue is unable to translate, so it sounds more like a moan of pleasure causing the Easter bunny to push himself all the way inside in one fluid movement.

Jesus screams into his wooden plinth whilst the Bunny begins banging his arsehole in a repetitive movement. In and out and in and out, the Easter bunny begins slowly but picks up the pace with each thrust inwards aided by the oozing blood.

In and out and in and out, the movement becomes faster and faster. The penis is sliding in so gracefully, so elegantly that it is a surprise to find Jesus weeping into the wooden plank. The Easter bunny lifts his head upwards as his thrusts become more aggressive, penetrating deeper and harder into the anus of Jesus Christ. The sound of the furry ball sack smacking against the bleeding rump echoes around the grassy Golgotha.

The Easter bunny shoves his cock harder and faster into the anus of Jesus, in and out and in and out. The friction of cock and anus is reaching its pinnacle and as the Easter bunny slides his cock in and out of the Lord’s rectal passageway he strides ever closer to orgasm.

The Easter bunny goes for one last push and begins pounding the messiah’s arse harder and faster than he had done before, again and again. Pulverising and tearing the lining of his bowels, he continues to thrust as his digestive juices drip down the Saviour’s leg.

With a long and disgruntled grunt, the Easter bunny lets loose his load; flooding the digestive tracts of the son of God and causing his belly to swell. “OTTS HAPPENIN!?” Jesus screams, unaware that his belly is now full of the Easter bunny’s spunk. The swelling causes great pain for Jesus and thus, he cries out in agony and anguish as his stomach and vital organs are crushed.

The Easter bunny pulls himself out of Jesus’ rectum, causing his juices to dribble out; knowing what to do, the Easter bunny pulls out a chocolate egg from his pouch and fixes the leak accordingly. Jesus, now feeling the weight of the rabbit’s spunk in his belly weighting him down and crushing his organs, gurgles “HEWP ME!” The rabbit obliges by hopping round to the other side to see the messiah’s face. “HEWP ME PWEASE!” He cries in vain as the rabbit stands motionless; his beady eyes stare into Jesus’ own.

The Easter bunny lifts up his well-muscled arm and pushes the cross aggressively, making it tip and fall backwards. Jesus screams “BUGGAH,” crashes down to the ground and because of the weight of the cross and his bloated belly he explodes and his bits are sent flying everywhere. The grassy Golgotha is decorated with the pinkish mix of blood and semen, the Easter bunny stares at the stain and says “dance now, motherfucker,” and hops away into the sunset, swinging his basket of eggs with his well-muscled arms.

What a fuck.

>>2
TOTAL WINZ0R

oh...my...god... that is quite possibly the most fucked up and hillarius thing i have ever read

Yes, well when people of other races start running the Newyork Times and World Bank, i'll be more inclined to belive you.

>>6
Why does it matter of Jews control those things?

>>7
Duh -- because you are lower than animal life to Jews.  They will enslave you with the media and the banks.  In fact, they've already essentially enslaved you NOW with those elements.

>>8
So what? Is your self esteem so bad that you have to hate someone because they consider your life lower than animals? Is your life so empty that you must steal whatever media they shit out? Are you too stupid to invest your money somewhere where it will actually return a fair income? I don't watch movies, my 600+ cd collection that I finished in 2000 is all I could ever need and I keep all my liquid assests in a non-bank financial institution.

^ are you a jew?

Oh, you've found me out? How did you know? Was it the fact that I don't participate any the alleged Jew controlled empires?

I think it might be if im honest. 

This lounge is full of niggers and jews threads. Since there are no whites, I believe the white superior race take the fail.
A few more threads like this one, and it will reach epic.
Faggots

no u

>>11
Its funny because most jews value education hence we get better jobs...other groups of people dont value education as high then blame us when they dont make as much as we do...then they say we conspire to take over the world...but do you know why it seems like we are taking over the world because the white christian leaders pay us to...they give us thier money to make it seem we are taking over to keep your eyes off them and on us....i wonder whos really trying to take over the world?

>>15 yeah, no need to keep wondering. It's the JEWS!

>>16
hmmm...no i think you missed the point i was trying to get across.

>>15
You're right, we need a second Holocaust.

damn them jewish jews

Hitler should have finished what he started. Fucking slacker.

Shame at the allied forces from getting us away from the anti-jew idea.

What exactly is it you people have against jews

>>22

They control the media and several governments. they rape young boys and make child porn. they have golden teeth and shit gold and not shit.

>>23
and you think this is all jews?

We are going to take over the world!

>>25
isnt a jew

Everyone bother and hack this person oh iits Paige 24 on aim.(its spelled just like that).

I get truly EPIC LULZ from crashing into telephone polls.

Can "Jew" be used as a verb?

Of course. I just jewed this fugly kid.

Why is it so warm in here?

I jew >>31.

jews

>>23
That's bad because?

I'm a jew, and gay too.
Call me, won't you... 563-379-2422

jews are just people with big noses.

JEWS ARE PEOPLE BENT ON WORLD DOMINATION!!! or so borat tell me :/