VTECH JUST KICKED IN YO?

Dear /lounge/,

I completely lack all traits that make humans weak (compassion, etc.) -- and yet, I desire the ability to write completely retarded letters of sympathy (so I can fill them with carefully hidden sarcasm).

How can I learn that skill?

hey slowpoke.

I completely lack any humility and consider myself far superior to everyone, regardless of the myriad things they're better than me at -- and yet, I have this incredibly manly and superior desire to brag about my shortcomings on 4chan.

How can I learn that skill?