True Story. I went to French and right away as soon as I got off the plane, no sooner than I smelled the horrible smell of chesse and armpits (Turns out it was a woman's smell), did I get all these people (guys and girls) aching for the opportunity to ride up and down the shaft of my amazing American cock. I knew I couldn't let ALL of them have the priviledge of my being part of my sexual escapades so I did the only fair thing to do. I unzipped my pants and just jizzed on all their adoring faces. They lapped it up of their face and down into their stomachs and not a drop fell to the floor.
But that's just it....they wanted more.... and I was all out. I urged them to leave immediately and having felt being cheated somehow they started the biggest riot the world has ever seen. I felt somehow at fault and during the course of police investigation I was found out to be the source of the riot and was banned by the government from ever setting foot on their shit stained land again. France needs to learn that if you wanna be an American you can't go around smelling like shit and blaming other people for you sexual inadequecies. Girls don't care for that "la di da" bullshit that TV uses to make people think that the French are expert romantics.
News FLash: French people stink from improper hygiene and wiping their ass from side to side.