Name: Anonymous 2007-03-18 23:35 ID:XQFD1Rft
Here's the proof.
http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_22051994_ordinatio-sacerdotalis_en.html
APOSTOLIC LETTER (yup, a PAPAL BULL!)
ORDINATIO SACERDOTALIS (AKA "We'd rather speak gibberish in Latin"
OF JOHN PAUL II (backed up by Rat Zinger)
Venereal Brothers and Pedobears in the (so-called) Episcopate,
1. Priestly ordination, which hands on the office entrusted by Christ (yeah, right) to his Apostles of teaching, sanctifying and governing the faithful (and putting them to sleep with boring sermons), has in the Papist Church from the beginning (supposedly) always been reserved to men alone. This tradition has also been robotically maintained by the Oriental Churches (Ching Chong Nip Nong Nong).
When the question of the ordination of women arose in the Anglican Communion (which the unholy Anglician kaffir heretics actually went for), Pope Paul VI, out of the senility of his office of kowtowing to that idol, Apostolic Tradition, and also with a view to removing a new obstacle placed in the way of Christian unity (a removal that never occurred because this view is fucking ABSURD), annoyed Anglicans with the position of the Crapolic Church: "She (lol!) holds that it is not admissible to ordain women to the priesthood, for very fundamental (read: silly) reasons. These reasons include: the example recorded in the Sacred Scriptures of Christ (which were written several decades, maybe centuries, after the fact) choosing his Apostles only from among men (and we're actually SURE about this, even though we have little or no evidence other than the handful of books we have); the constant practice of the Church (well, constant since the Roman Empire set it in stone in, what, 300 AD?), which has imitated Christ in choosing only men (monkey see, monkey do); and her living teaching authority (which is senile because it's so old, remember) which has consistently held that the exclusion of women from the priesthood is in accordance with God's misogynistic plan for his Church."(1)
(snip!)
2. The Declaration recalls and explains the fundamental reasons for this crappy teaching, ... To these fundamental reasons the document adds other theological (pie in the sky, that is) reasons which illustrate the (in)appropriateness of the (so-called) divine provision, and it also shows clearly that Christ's way of acting did not proceed from sociological or cultural motives peculiar to his time (yeah, right! NOW you know we're lying. Jesus was a man of his time after all. But we're a senile doddering old religion, so we don't give a flying fuck). As Paul VI later explained: "The real reason is that, in giving the Church her all your base constitution, her are belong to us anthropology-thereafter always followed by the Church's Tradition- Christ established things in this way, yadda yadda yadda, I'm fuckin' drunk, ask me later."(4)
In the Papal Bull Mulieris Dignitatem Crapobolia Horribilis, I myself wrote in this regard: "Poland must be liberated! Oh wait. Wrong speech. Must be my Parkinson's disease that scribbled that. In calling only the good ole boys as his Apostles, especially when drunk on the wine he made out of the water back there, Christ acted in a completely insane, free and sovereign manner (that is, he farted). In doing so, he exercised the same freedom with which, in all his behavior, he emphasized the dignity and the vocation of women (yeah, right, go tell that to his mom and his girlfriend, which I'm gonna mention later), without conforming to the prevailing customs and to the traditions sanctioned by the legislation of the time (yeah, right, believe that and we of the Episcopate have a bridge to sell you)."(5)
(here, we thump a bunch of Gospels based on poorly-remembered stories of Jesus when he was alive)
Therefore, in granting admission to the ministerial priesthood,(6) the Church has always acknowledged as a perennial norm her Lord's way of acting (that is, yabbering in Aramaic, farting, and shouting, "You! You! Um, wanna drink?") in choosing the twelve men whom he made the foundation of his Church (cf. Constipations 21:14). These men did not in fact receive only a function which could thereafter be exercised by any member of the Church (we're idiots since we actually believe that); rather they were specifically and intimately associated in the mission of the Incarnate Word himself (cf. Mt 10:1, 7-8; 28:16-20; Mk 3:13-16; 16:14-15)(once again, Gospels based on hearsay). The Apostles did the same when they chose fellow workers (monkey see, monkey do...)
3. Furthermore, the fact that the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God and Mother of the Church, received neither the mission proper to the Apostles nor the ministerial priesthood clearly shows that the non-admission of women to priestly ordination cannot mean that women are of lesser dignity (nah, it just means Jesus plutoed his mum, and since he did the same to his girlfriend, let's face it... he just didn't trust the ladies), nor can it be construed as discrimination against them (ROFTLMAOPMP!). Rather, it is to be seen as the faithful observance of a plan to be ascribed to the stupidity of the so-called Lord of the universe...Emperor Palpatine.
(Here we make some statements intended to mollify the feminists and give them a crappy Honorable Mention prize, like a cookie is given a retard for "good behavior". Then we praise them for being Noble and Kind and Virtuous and Upholding of the Church...but we don't really give 'em any power, we just want to flatter 'em and do nothing.)
Moreover, it is to the holiness of the faithful that the hierarchical structure of the Church is totally ordered, with moi at the head of the whole shebang. L'etage c'est moi! The ministers aren't the greatest, the saints are, and since I aim to become a Canonized Saint, I'm danged okay with that!
4. Although the teaching that priestly ordination is to be reserved to men alone has been preserved in ice, by quality Eye-talian refrigerator and the boring and senile Tradition of the Church and firmly taught by the Magisterium (which is closing its schools anyway because of this teaching) in its more recent documents, at the present time in some places it is nonetheless considered still open to debate (of course it is; we just don't wanna admit that we have no real control over the minds of men and women but propaganda), or the Church's judgment that women are not to be admitted to ordination is considered to have a merely disciplinary force (read: some folks think we're wimps).
Wherefore, in order that all doubt may be removed (yeah, right) regarding a mountain we have made out of a molehill, a matter which throws shit on the divine constitution itself, in virtue of my ministry of whining about the brethren (cf. Lackawanna 22:32) I declare that the Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women (or abstain from running a country, or to go splashing in the muck, or kowtow to the Queen of England) and that this judgment is to be definitively held by all the Church's faithful (see, Papism IS tyranny, and I just said so! NEENER NEEENER).
Invoking an abundance of divine assistance upon you, venerable brothers (what, there's a sister in here? GET THE FUCK OUT, we're trying to enslave you), and upon all the faithful (that is, stoned robots), I impart my apostolic blessing (there, now, eat your bland "body of Christ" and get drunk on your boozy "blood of Christ". You are now hypnotized by the great Wojtyla...).
From the Overgrown Papal Craphole on Vatican Hill, on May 22, the Boorishness of Pentecost, in the year 1994 (or is it really 2000? Lookee, little Dennis the Short didn't do his HW), the sixteenth of my Pontificate (w00, happy Sweet Sixteen). Do you guys have the popemobile ready? I've got some Communists who need a good talking-to in Beijing and Havana.
Oh yeah, and get Ratzinger to lock the doors next time he comes down here. It's gettin' drafty. And tell him to knock off that Nazi salute, too!
-Pope John Paul II, the Holey Father.
http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_22051994_ordinatio-sacerdotalis_en.html
APOSTOLIC LETTER (yup, a PAPAL BULL!)
ORDINATIO SACERDOTALIS (AKA "We'd rather speak gibberish in Latin"
OF JOHN PAUL II (backed up by Rat Zinger)
Venereal Brothers and Pedobears in the (so-called) Episcopate,
1. Priestly ordination, which hands on the office entrusted by Christ (yeah, right) to his Apostles of teaching, sanctifying and governing the faithful (and putting them to sleep with boring sermons), has in the Papist Church from the beginning (supposedly) always been reserved to men alone. This tradition has also been robotically maintained by the Oriental Churches (Ching Chong Nip Nong Nong).
When the question of the ordination of women arose in the Anglican Communion (which the unholy Anglician kaffir heretics actually went for), Pope Paul VI, out of the senility of his office of kowtowing to that idol, Apostolic Tradition, and also with a view to removing a new obstacle placed in the way of Christian unity (a removal that never occurred because this view is fucking ABSURD), annoyed Anglicans with the position of the Crapolic Church: "She (lol!) holds that it is not admissible to ordain women to the priesthood, for very fundamental (read: silly) reasons. These reasons include: the example recorded in the Sacred Scriptures of Christ (which were written several decades, maybe centuries, after the fact) choosing his Apostles only from among men (and we're actually SURE about this, even though we have little or no evidence other than the handful of books we have); the constant practice of the Church (well, constant since the Roman Empire set it in stone in, what, 300 AD?), which has imitated Christ in choosing only men (monkey see, monkey do); and her living teaching authority (which is senile because it's so old, remember) which has consistently held that the exclusion of women from the priesthood is in accordance with God's misogynistic plan for his Church."(1)
(snip!)
2. The Declaration recalls and explains the fundamental reasons for this crappy teaching, ... To these fundamental reasons the document adds other theological (pie in the sky, that is) reasons which illustrate the (in)appropriateness of the (so-called) divine provision, and it also shows clearly that Christ's way of acting did not proceed from sociological or cultural motives peculiar to his time (yeah, right! NOW you know we're lying. Jesus was a man of his time after all. But we're a senile doddering old religion, so we don't give a flying fuck). As Paul VI later explained: "The real reason is that, in giving the Church her all your base constitution, her are belong to us anthropology-thereafter always followed by the Church's Tradition- Christ established things in this way, yadda yadda yadda, I'm fuckin' drunk, ask me later."(4)
In the Papal Bull Mulieris Dignitatem Crapobolia Horribilis, I myself wrote in this regard: "Poland must be liberated! Oh wait. Wrong speech. Must be my Parkinson's disease that scribbled that. In calling only the good ole boys as his Apostles, especially when drunk on the wine he made out of the water back there, Christ acted in a completely insane, free and sovereign manner (that is, he farted). In doing so, he exercised the same freedom with which, in all his behavior, he emphasized the dignity and the vocation of women (yeah, right, go tell that to his mom and his girlfriend, which I'm gonna mention later), without conforming to the prevailing customs and to the traditions sanctioned by the legislation of the time (yeah, right, believe that and we of the Episcopate have a bridge to sell you)."(5)
(here, we thump a bunch of Gospels based on poorly-remembered stories of Jesus when he was alive)
Therefore, in granting admission to the ministerial priesthood,(6) the Church has always acknowledged as a perennial norm her Lord's way of acting (that is, yabbering in Aramaic, farting, and shouting, "You! You! Um, wanna drink?") in choosing the twelve men whom he made the foundation of his Church (cf. Constipations 21:14). These men did not in fact receive only a function which could thereafter be exercised by any member of the Church (we're idiots since we actually believe that); rather they were specifically and intimately associated in the mission of the Incarnate Word himself (cf. Mt 10:1, 7-8; 28:16-20; Mk 3:13-16; 16:14-15)(once again, Gospels based on hearsay). The Apostles did the same when they chose fellow workers (monkey see, monkey do...)
3. Furthermore, the fact that the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God and Mother of the Church, received neither the mission proper to the Apostles nor the ministerial priesthood clearly shows that the non-admission of women to priestly ordination cannot mean that women are of lesser dignity (nah, it just means Jesus plutoed his mum, and since he did the same to his girlfriend, let's face it... he just didn't trust the ladies), nor can it be construed as discrimination against them (ROFTLMAOPMP!). Rather, it is to be seen as the faithful observance of a plan to be ascribed to the stupidity of the so-called Lord of the universe...Emperor Palpatine.
(Here we make some statements intended to mollify the feminists and give them a crappy Honorable Mention prize, like a cookie is given a retard for "good behavior". Then we praise them for being Noble and Kind and Virtuous and Upholding of the Church...but we don't really give 'em any power, we just want to flatter 'em and do nothing.)
Moreover, it is to the holiness of the faithful that the hierarchical structure of the Church is totally ordered, with moi at the head of the whole shebang. L'etage c'est moi! The ministers aren't the greatest, the saints are, and since I aim to become a Canonized Saint, I'm danged okay with that!
4. Although the teaching that priestly ordination is to be reserved to men alone has been preserved in ice, by quality Eye-talian refrigerator and the boring and senile Tradition of the Church and firmly taught by the Magisterium (which is closing its schools anyway because of this teaching) in its more recent documents, at the present time in some places it is nonetheless considered still open to debate (of course it is; we just don't wanna admit that we have no real control over the minds of men and women but propaganda), or the Church's judgment that women are not to be admitted to ordination is considered to have a merely disciplinary force (read: some folks think we're wimps).
Wherefore, in order that all doubt may be removed (yeah, right) regarding a mountain we have made out of a molehill, a matter which throws shit on the divine constitution itself, in virtue of my ministry of whining about the brethren (cf. Lackawanna 22:32) I declare that the Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women (or abstain from running a country, or to go splashing in the muck, or kowtow to the Queen of England) and that this judgment is to be definitively held by all the Church's faithful (see, Papism IS tyranny, and I just said so! NEENER NEEENER).
Invoking an abundance of divine assistance upon you, venerable brothers (what, there's a sister in here? GET THE FUCK OUT, we're trying to enslave you), and upon all the faithful (that is, stoned robots), I impart my apostolic blessing (there, now, eat your bland "body of Christ" and get drunk on your boozy "blood of Christ". You are now hypnotized by the great Wojtyla...).
From the Overgrown Papal Craphole on Vatican Hill, on May 22, the Boorishness of Pentecost, in the year 1994 (or is it really 2000? Lookee, little Dennis the Short didn't do his HW), the sixteenth of my Pontificate (w00, happy Sweet Sixteen). Do you guys have the popemobile ready? I've got some Communists who need a good talking-to in Beijing and Havana.
Oh yeah, and get Ratzinger to lock the doors next time he comes down here. It's gettin' drafty. And tell him to knock off that Nazi salute, too!
-Pope John Paul II, the Holey Father.