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Stupid things lawyers ask

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-12 17:00

    *  Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
    * Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
    * Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
    * Witness: "Er...his face."

    * Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
    * Witness: "No."
    * Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
    * Witness: "No."
    * Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
    * Witness: "No."
    * Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
    * Witness: "No."
    * Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
    * Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
    * Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
    * Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

    * Lawyer: "What happened then?"
    * Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
    * Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
    * Witness: "No."

    * Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

    * Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
    * Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"

    * Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"

    * Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
    * Witness: "Not yet."

    * Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
    * Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

    * Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
    * Witness: "Oral."
    * Lawyer: "How old are you?"
    * Witness: "Oral."

    * Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
    * Witness: "I could see his head."
    * Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
    * Witness: "Just above his shoulders."

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-12 18:58

Lawyers are stupid, duh.

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-12 19:03

nah they're just funny

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-12 20:12

I live with a woman who has a beard. So there.

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-12 20:45

99% of lawyers make the other 2% look bad.

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-12 20:46

I cant type - ment 1%.

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-13 5:21

sounds like the lawyer and witness are equally quick witted.

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