9 Things i hate about everyone

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???

-Unknown

Lol, bump.

funny post. I'm kinda like that. But at the same time, I hate bitter people like that. Reminds me me of Garfield the cat, and Garfield, if you excuse my choice of words, can go fuck himself in the asshole. that whining asscat can choke on my dick.

ps:

THE END

>>1

OLDER THAN THE BBS.

I found this a few years back and thought it was quite good then, but now, looking at it, the only thing that even makes sense is number seven, and possibly number five. The rest are just the bitter ramblings of someone who can't stand human nature in general, and has no understanding of history; proved by their complete and utter ignorance when it comes to historical quotes, and no comphrehension of many day-to-day phrases; taking them far too literally.
It sounds like someone who is socially inept and probably extremely bitter BECAUSE of this.

lolz

8 is wrong, just because we haven't done anything longer than life doesn't mean it is long. Stars exist for longer than we do, so compared to their life, ours is short.

I hate when people dont give me their BERRY OF POWER TREE!

>>1

This is old as the hills.

Though really, now that I read it again, it just seems like whoever wrote it is trying to hard to be funny.

And really:

3 - Some expressions just don't make sence, accecpt it.
6 - It's a preface to asking a serious question.
8 - See: >>8

This was fucking lame and it would only be funny in a comedy setting. Reading it just plain sucks and it just isn't funny. What would make it funny is a comedian's touch with charisma and personality. This reminds me of that "Only in America" thread which bashes America and isn't funny because it just sounds like a hate rambling made from a douchebag. The only one that was good was number 7.

This was part of some comedians routine on one of those old comedy central specials.

>>1
2.-because you obviously are going to change channels,so searching for the remote all over the room 1 time its better than move from your sofa every time you want to change a channel
9.-probably at the time you where arraving to the bus stop a bus came and you missed it
so there enjoy your fail

Numbe 5 is the only one that absolutely makes sense. The rest are just trying to be funny, but aren't doing a great job of it.

Sometimes I do 9 to start small talk..

4 would've made me "heh" if only I hadn't heard it a bazillion times before.

>>1
1. Are you fucking dense? It's just body language for fuck's sake. It's assholes like you who care more about stupid bullshit than real problems who are dragging the world down.

2. Stupid. Remote controls are an expensive piece of hardware and it is worth knowing where they are. Also people like to flick through channels and getting up every time is pointless if there is a remote somewhere.

3. And if they said "oh you just want your cake" it'd make less sense. I find it funny that you either under analyse or over analyse everything like you have split personalities between a neurotic and a sociopath.

4. When you look for something you draw up a list of places to look in your head and decide which to search first through to last. It is this last search zone in your mind before you begin the search that people are referring to. You are too stupid to realise this and a lot of other things, just admit this and shut the fuck up, you'll be happier that way.

5. No one ever says that anymore, this isn't the 80s. What kind of stupid ass fantasy world do you live in?

6. You do have a choice, yes or no. Quit whining.

7. It is a new product with improved performance. Fill in the blanks retard, it was a 3 word slogan, they weren't going to write an essay for you to cover every single possible definition of the terms "new" and "improved".

8. You can imagine something lasting longer, a feat of intelligence it seems you are incapable of.

9. Different buses go to the same stops dumb shit. They were probably asking you if they missed their bus. I bet you acted like a rude asshole in the belief that the person who politely asked you the question is an idiot when little did you know that you were the only retard there.

ar

nb

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hgf

>>16
You are so right.

>>1
If you're gonna try to be funny, at least think up something ORIGINAL. As several people said, THIS IS OLD.

My anus hurts, kiss it and make it feel better

awesome, old but good

If you make another one of your so-called "witty observations" I'm gonna beat the shit out of you. That was the stupidest shit that made too much out of everyday occurances. I fuckin hate people that do that like in #5.

"Hey did you see that?"
"No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!"
"..... You're an asshole."

There see what happens. Not only is that not funny but you come off as a total douchebag. The person is only trying to connect with you in normal human conversation. You'll probably cover that in your behavioral disorder class next week. People sayings are always literal and it's up to you to have the common sense to figure out what they mean.

People who make gay complaint lists are up there in my top five

youre a loser cause you stole this from funny junk.

Pointing to your watch is a good way to make sure you're understood maybe in a busy loud room.  If it's automatic, who cares?

People don't understand the phrase "Have your cake and eat it too", they think it's a stupid phrase when it actually makes sense.

Cakes are often decorated to be very pretty, and all that crap.  You have to destroy it though, to enjoy the flavor; you can't have your cake and look at it and eat it also.  Nowadays with wal-mart and little debbie cakes this makes less sense because cakes are just slapped together to taste good, but if you think about really pretty cakes it makes sense.

One thing that people always get wrong though is the phrase "Could care less".   It's supposed to be "Couldn't care less".  "Could care less" implies you care more than the absolute minimum possible, and this is opposite to the way people mean it when they say it.

>>27 FINALLY, SOMEONE POINTS IT OUT! SOMEONE ELSE FUCKING GETS IT. I fucking HATE it when people say "could care less", I just want to say, "So, you do care then? Since you said it IS possible for you to care LESS?" It's most an American thing I believe, I hear Americans saying it all, the, fucking, time. People in Britain rarely say it, if ever. I just.. it makes me want to hurt things, you know?

Seriously you guys, this was originally from one of those old ass comedy central stand-up specials. It was funny as a small part of the guy's act. His thing was basically that small things annoyed the hell out of him. People laughed, it didn't mean they agreed with everything. I don't remember the name, but I'm guessing he made some money from this and then probably forgot the whole act a long time ago. You're just wasting your time critiquing it. We all know most of it is wrong and unreasonable; they're just jokes.

You know what I hate?  I hate when you go to the park, and it rains, and your balls get wet.  I really hate that.

joke stolen from a douche

9 things I hate abou everyone

1) anel sex makes you dicksmell
2) girsl cannot rape (?)\
3) i kove my penis....
)4 naked brothers abnd
%) naked brothsers band
6) naked brothers band
7) naked brothers band

>>31
YOU ARE THE FUCKING SMART

FUCK!!!!!1

>>32
thks

I hate people who make lists about how much they hate things..

>>31
Naked Brother's faggotness really does deserve those 4 slots.
Your dad's got a pretty big package....

>>35
yeah

but how do you know about my fathers penis.

emo