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4CHAN GUIDE TO GIRLS!

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-04 16:36

A.ASSHOLES
Guys think we’re attracted to assholes because that’s their only defense for when we dump them. When girls are rejected we turn it inward and blame ourselves for not being prettier. That’s our bad, we know. But when dudes are rejected they makes grand statements like, “Women love guys that are assholes, they don’t care about us nice guys!” And then that grand statement spreads like the wave at a Yankees game and next thing you know it’s written in fucking stone because dudes are able to write stuff in stone! Yes, they have that much power.

We don’t want you to push our heads down to your crotch area when you want a blowjob, but we also don’t want you to cry and write shitty emo poetry and paint our portrait in pastels. It’s just that there’s only a teeny wading pool in between the lake of total assholes and the bay of fucking pussies, so sometimes when we’re horny we’ll take what we can get. Ultimately we all want the same things: Good sex ’n’ giggles. So learn how to eat pussy and start memorizing lines from Will Ferrell comedies like your sex life depends on it. Because it does.

Name: Mr. Bitter 2007-02-04 20:42

In my experience, girls tend to like assholes.

I'm 6'2, good looking, a wrestler (Not ripped, though. I've always been the slim/slender body type), and I'm smart enough to be taking and passing three AP classes.

It's the funny assholes who get all of the girls. Guys don't have to shove women's faces in their crotchular area to be assholes. There's this one girl that I have feelings for, going out with an asshole I can't stand. But he's a funny asshole. I'm not as funny as him. I'm nicer, smarter (dumbass is failing three classes), and better looking than him. All he does all day is listen to gaddamned Mitch hedberg and eat dumplings. Big fucking whoop. He's still an asshole.

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