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4CHAN GUIDE TO GIRLS!

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-04 16:36

A.ASSHOLES
Guys think we’re attracted to assholes because that’s their only defense for when we dump them. When girls are rejected we turn it inward and blame ourselves for not being prettier. That’s our bad, we know. But when dudes are rejected they makes grand statements like, “Women love guys that are assholes, they don’t care about us nice guys!” And then that grand statement spreads like the wave at a Yankees game and next thing you know it’s written in fucking stone because dudes are able to write stuff in stone! Yes, they have that much power.

We don’t want you to push our heads down to your crotch area when you want a blowjob, but we also don’t want you to cry and write shitty emo poetry and paint our portrait in pastels. It’s just that there’s only a teeny wading pool in between the lake of total assholes and the bay of fucking pussies, so sometimes when we’re horny we’ll take what we can get. Ultimately we all want the same things: Good sex ’n’ giggles. So learn how to eat pussy and start memorizing lines from Will Ferrell comedies like your sex life depends on it. Because it does.

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-05 20:16 (sage)

Are you trying to say I can't detect the sarcasm of calling it a grand statement? I counter-trolled starting with the literal and explained why it being sarcasm would only further prove that which the op sarcastically tries to mock. Read it again or something.

The dumb wading metaphor makes no sense, either live on dry land float a fucking boat, oh wait, don't go to dry land becase we live there, plus one has to cross zomg the bay of pussies, thank daddy cool for the bay, I honestly couldn't think of a better defense or locking people into the sea, oh I wonder why I don't envision myself as camping in water? However in the world would I ever come to such a decision?

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