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Critique My Poetry

Name: Antonymous 2007-02-03 11:35

~CJM~

you piece of shit. you
are a sun-dried dog turd full
of broken warm glass

i saw an old man
fill a popcan with skoal phleghm
you are that popcan

i saw an old man
spit until his teeth shrank, died
you are the dead teeth

you are a waste land
a fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck
God-damn your  bullshit

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-03 11:40

.Better?

you piece of shit. you
are a sun-dried dog turd full
of broken warm glass

an old man slowly
fills a popcan with skoal phleghm
you are that popcan

an old man spits until
his teeth shrink, yellow, die
you are the dead teeth

you are a waste land
a fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck
God-damn your  bullshit

Name: antonymous 2007-02-03 12:07

What a difference a word makes
>>you piece of shit. you
are a sun-dried dog turd full
of broken warm glass

i saw an old man
fill a popcan with skoal phleghm
you are the popcan

i saw an old man
spit until his teeth shrank, died
you are the dead teeth

you are a waste land
a fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck. fuck. FUCK

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-03 20:03

It's very nice, surely something I'd hope someone would write about me, since I am the best.

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-03 20:07

D:

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-03 22:12

you suck

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-04 0:02

Sophomoric.

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-04 0:35

i dint read it but it sure sucks

Name: Antonymous 2007-02-04 0:58

>>7

Yup. Hey, can you direct me to decent hate poetry?

Name: Antonymous 2007-02-04 1:03

>>7

Shit, I'm just not seeing it. Would you please elaborate?

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-04 11:35

I wish >>1 would post his poem already and stop confusing us with these weird ass riddles.

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-05 11:55

basically, your poetry sucks simply because you are writing about nothing your just trying to be some sort of badass or some sort of comedian grow up and use your form to write some real poetry

Name: BATMAN 2007-02-05 11:57

I didn't read all of it,

but basically it seemed like rambling
of a socially inadequite person,
with homosexual tendencies,
who is also in love with his neighbors dog.

Name: Anonymous 2007-02-05 13:40

>>13
and some old dude

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