Name: Fred O 2007-01-17 3:10
So I have pretty much experienced what, in my opinion, could be one of the most horrifying stoner stories ever mentioned.
So me and my friends are standing in one of my friends, we'll call him mason, kitchen. A friend arrives with marijuana, and we begin to talk about smoking it, when someone grabs a coconut and loooks at it and says "Let's smoke out of this!"
With much merriment and excitement, we whip out a power drill and begin sculpting the soon to be coco-bong. We make a hole big enough to fit the male piece of a bong into, and a mouth hole. We drain the juice into a mug and are excited to taste the sweet coconut milk. This is where things began to go wrong.....
The first liquid that came out was brownish and smelled bad, the rest was normal coco milk. So we poured the brown shit out and emptied the coconut of the remaining "good juice".
As we passed this good juice around and took little sips of it, an expression of disgust came about all of our faces. It was clear that either coconut milk was disgusting and we didn't remember, or this was bad co-co-milk. We threw it out, and then washed out the coconut 4 times by filling and draining, then filled it halfway to give a bubbler-effect. After that, we smoked and smoked and smoked.
On and off again for about an hour we smoked, the best hits of our lives. It was so smoothe that we didn't think we were getting any smoke until our lungs were full and we felt the burning, we were coughing like it was our first time.
Blah-blah-blah, about an hour of stoner antics here ...."HEY! lets break open that coconut and eat it!"
So mason grabs a hammer and smashers this thing open. A second of silence...."What the fuck?"
On the inside of this fucking coconut, attached to the otherwise smoothe white interior, is a slimy, squishy, ovular blob of white with a glistening surface, about the size of 7 quarters stacked on top of eachother.
We stared at the coconut. We stared at the "blob". We stared at eachother.
Someone whips out a knife and...*POPS* this thing off, and it bounces and squishes on the counter, and exactly where the blob once was is an empty space where it has ......*EATEN* the coconut meat, there is only brown.
Eaten.
We fucking drank the coconut milk with that brown shit in it, we smoked and inhaled air which at one time shared this dark little chamber with this mysterious and squishy little creature, fungus, whatever the fuck it was. It took a journey from the tropics of south america, islands in the carribean, wherever the fuck coconuts come from, this little intruder has travelled thousands of miles in this natural tomb to the local market where it was purchased by my friend.It is a part of us somehow, it's little spores in our lungs, or it's little parasitic babies in our mouths and stomachs.
What. The. Fuck.
There is still only silence and an occasional "WTF?". Mason grabs this little polyp of evil and hurls it out the window into the snowy forest, trying to banish it from our conciouss. We continue the night laughing and acting like stoners, but the weight of this little bug/fungus was on us the whole night and next morning. We were all thinking the same things. The news headlines would read "7 stoners in critical condition as unknown tropical parasite eats away at their lungs". Our families would cry and weep, but we'd be nothing but a temporary sad thought on the conciouss of the nation, another "lady who died trying to win WII by drinking water".
I looked up everywhere, coconut pests and parasites, couldnt come up with any pictures. Basically, the best case scenario is it was a moth larvae with a large protective sack that didn't do anything, and the worst case scenario is it is a new tropical fungus/bug that will have us shitting blood and guts out of our anus in a few weeks.
Anyone care to relieve me of my stress/inform me of my impending death by telling me WHAT THE FUCK that thing was?
So me and my friends are standing in one of my friends, we'll call him mason, kitchen. A friend arrives with marijuana, and we begin to talk about smoking it, when someone grabs a coconut and loooks at it and says "Let's smoke out of this!"
With much merriment and excitement, we whip out a power drill and begin sculpting the soon to be coco-bong. We make a hole big enough to fit the male piece of a bong into, and a mouth hole. We drain the juice into a mug and are excited to taste the sweet coconut milk. This is where things began to go wrong.....
The first liquid that came out was brownish and smelled bad, the rest was normal coco milk. So we poured the brown shit out and emptied the coconut of the remaining "good juice".
As we passed this good juice around and took little sips of it, an expression of disgust came about all of our faces. It was clear that either coconut milk was disgusting and we didn't remember, or this was bad co-co-milk. We threw it out, and then washed out the coconut 4 times by filling and draining, then filled it halfway to give a bubbler-effect. After that, we smoked and smoked and smoked.
On and off again for about an hour we smoked, the best hits of our lives. It was so smoothe that we didn't think we were getting any smoke until our lungs were full and we felt the burning, we were coughing like it was our first time.
Blah-blah-blah, about an hour of stoner antics here ...."HEY! lets break open that coconut and eat it!"
So mason grabs a hammer and smashers this thing open. A second of silence...."What the fuck?"
On the inside of this fucking coconut, attached to the otherwise smoothe white interior, is a slimy, squishy, ovular blob of white with a glistening surface, about the size of 7 quarters stacked on top of eachother.
We stared at the coconut. We stared at the "blob". We stared at eachother.
Someone whips out a knife and...*POPS* this thing off, and it bounces and squishes on the counter, and exactly where the blob once was is an empty space where it has ......*EATEN* the coconut meat, there is only brown.
Eaten.
We fucking drank the coconut milk with that brown shit in it, we smoked and inhaled air which at one time shared this dark little chamber with this mysterious and squishy little creature, fungus, whatever the fuck it was. It took a journey from the tropics of south america, islands in the carribean, wherever the fuck coconuts come from, this little intruder has travelled thousands of miles in this natural tomb to the local market where it was purchased by my friend.It is a part of us somehow, it's little spores in our lungs, or it's little parasitic babies in our mouths and stomachs.
What. The. Fuck.
There is still only silence and an occasional "WTF?". Mason grabs this little polyp of evil and hurls it out the window into the snowy forest, trying to banish it from our conciouss. We continue the night laughing and acting like stoners, but the weight of this little bug/fungus was on us the whole night and next morning. We were all thinking the same things. The news headlines would read "7 stoners in critical condition as unknown tropical parasite eats away at their lungs". Our families would cry and weep, but we'd be nothing but a temporary sad thought on the conciouss of the nation, another "lady who died trying to win WII by drinking water".
I looked up everywhere, coconut pests and parasites, couldnt come up with any pictures. Basically, the best case scenario is it was a moth larvae with a large protective sack that didn't do anything, and the worst case scenario is it is a new tropical fungus/bug that will have us shitting blood and guts out of our anus in a few weeks.
Anyone care to relieve me of my stress/inform me of my impending death by telling me WHAT THE FUCK that thing was?