Dear Jesus,

Dear Jesus,

I want to believe in you and your miraculous powers, I really do. I was raised in a devout Catholic home, and as long as I remember have been hearing about your divine nature and limitless compassion. You turned water into wine, healed lepers, and even raised the dead. I know you have boundless abilities. I also know that your compassion compels you to assist those who suffer, and to hear their agonized prayers.

I have been ceaselessly praying to you for over three years now Jesus, yet still my prayer remains unanswered. Please tell me: Why won’t you run over my co-worker Renee with an 18 ton cement truck? Every day is another eternity of listening to Renee talk about her mildly retarded, morbidly obese child and her husband’s swollen testicles and ass-boils. I am suffering beyond the point of endurance my Lord. Please make manifest your divine Love and Grace by sending a cement truck of mercy to squash Renee flat in all your love and wisdom.

Thank you in advance -

Dear Jesus,

I want to believe in you and your miraculous powers, I really do. I was raised in a devout Catholic home, and as long as I remember have been hearing about your divine nature and limitless compassion. You turned water into wine, healed lepers, and even raised the dead. I know you have boundless abilities. I also know that your compassion compels you to assist those who suffer, and to hear their agonized prayers.

I have been ceaselessly praying to you for over three years now Jesus, yet still my prayer remains unanswered. Please tell me: Why do me and my family still suffer with a huge morgage and not enuth money to pay it? Ever since 'he' left we've been in a shit hole. Is getting harder and harder for us to pay.. I am suffering beyond the point of endurance my Lord. Please make manifest your divine Love and Grace by seeing pitty and killing me and my family, as to put us out of this misery.

Thank you in advance -

Dear Jesus,

I want you inside me.

Dead newbicus minimusorz, I died more then 2000 years ago. I don't know if you realize this but it turns out that doing magic when you are dead is harder then when you are alive. I would love to help you with that but I'm having troubles getting a truck and trying to drive after decomposing that long. Please continue giving money to my appointed child molesters so that they can funnel the funds to my 'build a new jesus' program.

Japan? OMFG. You lucky... They have certain flowers in Japan that are absolutely gorgeous that you should check out. They only grow in that region I believe. Lots of things in Japan, it's an entirely different society.

hey