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BURN A RELIGIOUS TEXT - GET* FREE** GIFT***!

Name: Satan !4Dd1nG2UpI 2006-11-16 14:53

Would you be interested in a FREE GIFT?

All you have to do is desecrate one (1) religious text of any type.  It can be a holy text (Bible, Torah, Koran) or a religious tract or pamphlet (all religions accepted).  Then, describe your event in this thread. 

In exchange for this, you will receive a FREE 15-day**** trial membership in Hell.  Act now and get your free gift right away!



































































*By "get", we mean "force to receive against your will."

**Shipping and handling not included.  Normal rates to Hell are $1,599,999.99 and up.  Shipping and handling charges are non-refundable.

***Not tax-deductible under US tax code.

****If you choose not to become a member after your trial period expires, you are responsible for transportation costs incurred for return trip.

Name: Anonymous 2006-11-17 10:27

I just got out of chem class today, and was on my way to pick up some lunch, when I happened upon an anti-abortion demonstration. It was a very professional outfit, you could tell they travel from college to college looking for converts. Your school may even be next. Picture a short triangular fence surrounding laminated displays of aborted fetus photos, with preachy demonstrators behind the fence handing out papers and keeping out trouble.

obviously I could not pass up such a rare opportunity.

I circled the demonstration maybe 4 or 5 times, taking it all in. at every pass they tried to give me a pamphlet, but I pulled the old "other guy just gave me one" routine. On my final pass, I stopped at a particularly stimulating display of aborted twins in a puddle of blood. At that age, every fetus starts with mostly female genitalia, so regardless of what could have been born, I can safely assure myself that all future fantasies regarding this image will be heterosexual.

After about a minute of staring at the display, engraving it into my mind for future use, one of the demonstrators, an old lady, approached me.
her- "Just horrible isn't it?"
me- "the lighting's a bit poor but-"
her- "If you're interested in volunteering, I could introduce you to our coordinator."
me- "No thank you, full time student."
her- "Understandable, but at least you care."
me- "Oh yes, very relevant to me interests."
her- "...excuse me?"
me- "oh um... just the image of the fetish- FETUS! Image of the Fetus, its relevant to my-"
her- "GET OUT!"

I guess she noticed my erection.

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