Unusual Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr.
Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years.  No one knows for
sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.

 He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable
 lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the
 early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
 Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
 (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting
 strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
 His health began to rapidly deteriorate when
 well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in
 place.

 Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment
 for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for
 using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for
 reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
 Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required
 to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student,
 but could not inform the parents when a student became
 pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses,
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, then she
spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge financial
settlement.
 Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and
 Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility;
 and his son, Reason.  He is survived by two stepbrothers:  My
 Rights and Ima Whiner.
 Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
 gone.

tl;dr.... people are dumbshits these days.

tl;r

very nice

only in amerikkka

That's... That's the first time 4chan actually posted something sentimental and true.

COPYPASTE FAGGOTS

THERE IS AND WILL NEVER BE ORIGINAL CONTENT IN 4CHAN

pasta copied, yes. from email!

That's not a real name.  "Common Sense"?  Come on, no one is named that.

sorry I meant 10 commandments made law;  sorry sorry all.

 Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
 (don't spend more than you earn) <-- Unless you are smart about it, in which case you can become amazingly rich by doing so.

and reliable parenting
 strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). <-- Uhhh, this is still the case.......

 Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment
 for kissing a classmate <--- In the case being talked about, the boy had his friends hold down the girl while he kissed her multiple times while she cried and screamed.

teens suspended from school for
using mouthwash after lunch <--- Like common sense said, adults are in charge, not the kids. If they break the rules, they need to take responsibility for it. Adults don't get to break rules because they don't agree with them, neither should kids.

and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student <--- The student had tourettes in an assembly. The teacher knew this, and called the kid a "homosexual freak who needs to grow a pair". Of course the school fired him.


 Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required
 to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, <--- some students are allergic to asprin, and many studies now show that unless totally needed, asprin can be more harmful than benificial. I don't want my school feeding my kids drugs that in controversy.

 but could not inform the parents when a student became
 pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. <--- Good, as it should be. Kids should be encouraged to tell their parents, but knowing the home lifes of many kids (exp. the kind who get pregnant), it would be cruel to alert their parents to it.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, <--- meh, no one should have made a big deal over it, but they probably could have picked something more universal than the ten commandments that still would have worked. But I grant them this point.

 churches became businesses <--- completely twisting reality

and criminals received better treatment than their victims. <--- uhhhh, our court system is largly built on rehabilitation, not punishment. And for the most part, criminals do get treated worse than their victems.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, then she
spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge financial
settlement. <--- The cup of coffee was heated to 190 degrees. The only reason the chain did this is because at that heat, bad tasting coffee becomes too hot to taste, so they can get away with selling cheap crap. The coffee was far hotter than any reasonable coffee should be brewed. The woman needed skin graphs, and had terrible burns because the chain sold far, far too hot coffee for selfish reasons. She deserved every cent.


Not impressed at all

lol >>10
proof or gtfo.

>>11
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
 (don't spend more than you earn) <-- Unless you are smart about it, in which case you can become amazingly rich by doing so.

Microsoft and the xbox, lol

>>10 is a faggot!

>>13
Way to bump a five year old thread.

RIP Common Sense