Beat the Crap out of Someone

Hey, I have a little bit of a problem...  Really, it's more of a fear of a problem I MIGHT have in the future...

See, a few days ago this doucher I work with was calling me names and shit to me and my friends.  I couldn't say a word without him busting out with some asinine comment, it's like he was actively gunning for me for some reason.

Well, anyway, long story short, when we were all walking out to our cars after our shift was over, he finally just stepped over the line.  I really feel bad about it, I mean, he's just some kid with insecurities trying to feel better about himself, but I just snapped and really let him have it.  I headbutted him in the chin (He's about a foot taller than me, and more muscular), then punched him in the face.  He went down, completely caught off guard (I wasn't prepared for it myself).

Anyway, I was still pretty pissed off at this point (I must have anger issues myself) and stomped on his forehead while screaming "I AM NOT A FUCKING *name he was calling me... don't remember now*". 

It's been two days now, and I haven't heard anything about it, though I know he's OK, he doesn't even look beat up.

I was wondering if I could be charged with anything, or thrown in the metal clink should he choose to press charges.  I mean, he really had it coming, but he never hit me back, and we're both over 18.

HE can FrRY Y0 ASs nOW BiTCH ~

~ No rly, he can

I am sorry for being such a disgusting nigger.

Hahah!  Tis is some gangsta ass shit yo!

Ohohoh I am tEh FunNEh! NoW sajT ssaidd the N-Werd! HAhaha

*YoashAA - EpEEn PRogRESS!*

Law of Zidane's effect...

trolltrolltroll...

is this kopipa?

He had it coming, and it's not like you went and called the manager for him being a "doucher", so it's not like he has the authority to call the police for you handing his ass to him.

Wow, he can fuck you over if he wants to now, but unless he is a totally fucking pussy, he won't.

kick his ass again!

>>1

It can be difficult to tell sometimes if a lobster is actually DOA (Dead On Arrival), or just sluggish after the long trip from Boston. One good test is to touch the lobster’s eye and watch for movement (gross, but true). If there are no signs of life, don’t give up yet! You may have heard otherwise, but we know that a lobster does not have to be alive at the moment you are cooking it in order to still be good. It is more a matter of the temperature at which the lobster has been kept, and the length of time that has passed, that determines whether it is still good. So how are you to know what to do?

enjoy ur lawsuit

>>12
Yeah when I sue his ass for libel and slander. My dad watches the news, he knows the law and will cover for me. God bless America.

>>13
I'm the O.P., Not you Anonymous!

Anonymous must get out of my lounge!

>>14
No, I'm anonymous, I am the O.P.!

No, I am Lobster

NO I AM LOBARTACUS

I'M LOBSTARCUS

I'M LOBSTARTICUS!

I. M. WEASEL!

HAHAHAHA!  YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES GOT THE REFERENCE, albeit with a lobster twist.

>>1 here BTW.

Beat the Crap out of Someone

Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry

So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply

Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together

I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help  you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave

So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling i love you so...

Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures

I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye

Until you go as bad as Jack went on Angel Face in Fight Club, it ain't nothin'.

He's going to get you now.

PREPARE YOURSELF

How should I prepare for such a fight?  I'm very good with blunt instruments, like bats, but they're pretty hard to hide at work.  I'm thinking about something small like a pocket knife, but it's too small, things like that always get knocked out of my hand before I can do any damage.

>>26
I'm also not very muscular, and this guy if prepared would probably be a better fighter than me.  I don't want to end up plastered on the pavement just because he couldn't keep his opinion of me to himself.

NOTHING IN THIS WUURRRLD CAN PREPARE YOU

FOR MOOOORTAL KOMBAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

If he tries to start shit, go for stuff you can easily break and cause alot of pain. Finger joints, the face, neck, nuts, etc.

I'd really like a weapon for this fight...  Maybe I can plan my walks around the parking lot around things I can improvise.  I guess that'd be surprising, if nothing else.

What about the kneecaps?  I've heard that hurts like a motherfucker to get kicked in.

I'd advise against a knife, but that's from personal experience, some dick pulled a knife on me in a fight, ended up going straight into my lung even though he "didn't mean it".

Plus, his ass got beat when people saw it happen, and the doctors patched me up fine.

>>30
1 strike to his throat will bring him down -> break kneecaps while he is gasping for air. If you miss or hit like a girl...well at least take the beating like a man.

>>32
Holy crap, I remember a technique about that!  Basically, you use your elbow to propel the knife edge of your hand into the neck, for over 12,000 HP of damage!  I can't be too reliant on that though, if it fails I need a backup.  Plus I need to be quick, hesitation could cost me the fight.

Well, as I go into work today, knowing that today could be the day of reckoning, wish me luck. 

(Honestly, I don't even know if he's even planning to try to beat me up...  but if he does try it, I want to make SURE he doesn't try it again.) 

Didn't try anything today.  He doesn't seem to be acting too strange around me, he doesn't even say anything. 

I guess I'll talk to him tomorrow, try to get this straightened out.  See if we can get this resolved peacefully... see if there's anything to even resolve.  I don't have any remaining hatred for this guy, I don't even know if he's still mad or ever was....

Thing is, I won't let my guard down because I don't want to get beaten up.  It hurts like a motherfucker.

"Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry..."

LAaal PLACEbOO! Without having to use my google-skillz!!1

Do I get a cookie now?

>>36
no, but you do get this cock in your ass

>>37
If you're Brian Molko, hell yes.

>>1
fail

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

>>40
Nigger.